A Hint of Suicide

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After I washed the offensive smell of gasoline off of me, I drove back to Panera to pick up Hannah.

"He never showed up," she immediately said.

"Yeah. I know," I grimly replied. I was hoping she wouldn't ask me what had happened, but I think between my tense voice and hesitant actions it was inevitable. And sure enough, within a few minutes...

"Did something happen?" Well, I had two options here. I could either lie or just abbreviate everything that just went on.

"Yeah. Nothing much though. I now know why Damon didn't show up - he decided to follow me to the gas station and then make a scene."

"Really? Oh my god. Did he hurt you? What'd he do? How did he know you were even there?"

"He put a tracker on my car, remember? No, he didn't hurt me. Just made a damn fool out of himself."

Right after I said that, Hannah gave me a nice hard slap on the leg for cursing. That one was well worth it though. She had started this a few months before school let out partly because of Damon. Although Hannah didn't approve of me cussing, Damon took this to a whole new level and forced her to inflict punishment on me for swearing. Damon would periodically ask me how she punished me, and if she had forgotten or done the wrong way, he would hurt me. It was really a no win situation for me, but I never got upset at Hannah because she couldn't possibly do all he asked. She was only human.

What I never understood was why Damon would want to harm me if he liked me in the twisted way that he did. I could only come up with two reasons. One: he enjoyed seeing me suffer like some sort of demented cannibal. Two: he wanted to make me a better person who doesn't cuss, but his sick mind only offered physical abuse as a solution. I pondered this throughout the ride home.

After I dropped off Hannah, I had no choice but to go home. I knew Damon would be there, but I could do nothing about it and would just have to face him. As soon as I got in the door to my own house, he was  predictably there.

"Who was that other guy at the gas station?!" he spat at me.

"None of your damn business."

"Don't you dare speak to me like that! I am so mad at you two right now! AND HANNAH FORGOT TO PUNISH YOU PROPERLY AGAIN AND WAS IGNORING ME YESTERDAY SO I'M GETTING REVENGE ON HER THIS TIME!"

"Just shut up, Damon. And get out of my house." However, my efforts were essentially useless. He just kept going on and on.

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO?! HUH!?! DO YOU BLOODY KNOW!?! I AM GOING TO GET ALL HER FRIENDS' NUMBERS RIGHT NOW!!" He ran upstairs to my room after that so he could frantically get on his computer to start his master search. I felt horrible. I was the one who ultimately pissed him off for not making out with him or wanting him. Not to mention I also brought him into our lives with my virus-infested files. SInce it was my fault, it was also my obligation to stop him from messing with Hannah's friends.

I rushed upstairs to my room. Damon was at my desk frantically typing away.

"Damon, look. It's just not right to involve all her friends on top of us. I'll do what you want. Just quit what you're doing."

"NO!" he snapped. "IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT! I'M PISSED AT YOU TWO!" What the hell was his problem? What did we do to piss him off so much? I honestly had no idea. Anger started to rage inside me. This psychopath was in my house making our lives miserable, and he was now going to bring more people into this fucked up mess. I did absolutely nothing to him, and he would find the most pitiful excuse to start abusing me. I clenched my teeth together to keep from screaming and balled up my fists. My nails dug into my skin as my knuckles started to violently crack. My nostrils were flared, and my eyes were glazed with bitter hatred. I couldn't hold back any longer.

"You make me fucking sick Damon! So sick that I want to die. I would rather rot in hell than see your fucking face every day! YOU MAKE ME WANT TO KILL MYSELF!" I should have just left at that point because his next comment caused me to further blaze with anger.

"Kill yourself huh? Perfect. I was wondering what message I could send to all her friends. Swell! Thanks Brandon!"

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