Addictive

Prologue

I never will get used to the feeling when I saw my mother laying in death bed. So much unbearable sorrow. I swear i could feel my heartbreaking. She was everything to me; My saviour on the days i had bad times and the only parent who had yet to cause me pain. I sat on one of the many wooden benches at church starring through the coloured-stained window above my mothers coffin trying to distract myself from her casket. I look around at the people taking pity on me but honestly it was a blur through my tearful glaze. I used to think that it was silly when other people lost someone they loved and would drink themselves to oblivion, even so they couldn't remember their own name, now that this grief haze has taken full reign of my life at this point, the idea doesn't seem so insane.

Jennifer; My best friend, sat awkwardly next to me trying to comfort me but failed miserably. Right now i didn't need comfort i just needed my pain to go away, i needed to be numb. I tasted saltly liquid in my mouth, I hadn't realised i was crying until now. I furiously wiped my tears away while turning my head quickly towards Jennifer with an murderous look.

"What do you want?" I said with an expressionless voice.

Jennifer give a surpise gasp and a hurt look came across her face. "I just want to help you, you don't have to go through this alone. I know your mother meant everything to you. I've never lost a parent before but that doesn't me i can't help"

"Don't you get it, i dont want your help. I just want to be left the damn hell alone. You can't even begin to understand how I'm feeling.
Come back to me when you've loss a parent than you won't give me this shit about helping" i stood up and walked down the aisle with a blank face and shoulders straight, opening the down and slamming it shut on my way out.