Tempting Fate

Chapter 5

Ever since that night at camila's show, lauren had endured the absolute longest month of her life. She wanted to go back in time to that
night and actually say something to camila.
Words would have probably been better than just silently nodding. She had waited for camila's phone call because she said she would
call. Lauren waited and continued to wait. She had stayed around Evanston for an entire week
waiting for that phone call. But her phone never rang. She contemplated seriously about
calling camila to see what was going on, but had no idea what she would even say to her.
And it was becoming abundantly clear that camila did not want to talk to her. Still, lauren waited. She had to tolerate crashing at her
parents' house for the duration of her stay. But it finally got to the point where lauren knew
she had to leave. Her heart was beginning to
ache again for camila. The last time she saw her, she was so close. They were so close.
They were right there and all lauren needed to do was capture camila's lips, but now all lauren
can do is reflect on the biggest regret of her life. She decided to she needed to go. She needed to be anywhere but here. Knowing she was within miles of camila?  breathing the same
air as camila was way too much for lauren to handle. So she called her friend one time, to
tell her goodbye. Camila didn't answer and lauren was not surprised. She simply said that it was
great seeing her, but she had to get going and
told camila to call whenever she needed anything. And then, lauren bought a plane ticket and was gone.
That entire week, camila agonized over calling lauren.  She knew she wanted to, but something
was holding her back. Perhaps the same thing
that was holding her back the night of her gig.
Something was holding her back from kissing lauren. Camila had come to believe that it was
fear. Fear of feeling this newfound affection
for lauren. Though it wasn't new. It was an all-too-familiar feeling for camila. Something she
had felt the moment she met the older girl, but for some reason it had been becoming more
and more urgent within camila. She began to think of nothing else but lauren. She replayed
that moment over and over again when their lips were barely touching and she could feel lauren's breath on her skin and lauren's eyes
burning into hers. That was the most intimate moment she had ever shared with anyone, even David. There was no intimacy between camila
and her husband. And thinking back, camila negan to realize there never had been.
He was just always…there. And she could see why she
cared for him, but was beginning to believe that she was not in love with him. She never was. But why couldn't she just call lauren?  In
the last week, this burning inside of camila had somehow turned into a five-alarm fire raging out of control. At night, her thoughts fell upon
Lauren. And in the morning, at work, even doing the most mundane things like breathing or
strumming her guitar, the only thing her mind would rest upon was lauren And feeling something this strong for someone who meant
so much to her, terrified camilato no end. She kept telling herself it wasn't real. What she
was feeling was simply misplaced passion. The passion she should feel for David was being
transferred over to lauren because lauren actually showed signs of caring about camila.
So camila convinced herself that that was it.
She wasn't in love with lauren. She was just confused. And now completely embarrassed about her actions. So she just couldn't call lauren, not matter how painful it was for her.
A month later, lauren was sitting on her Memphis apartment balcony, watching the sun set. It was freezing, almost to the point of snowing, but lauren didn't care. She wanted one
last sunset before winter took over and made then invisible for a few months. As she
watched the sky become a darker red, she felt a shudder. And at that moment, her cell phone
rang. Lauren didn't even have to look at the number. She knew who it was. Even though she was hurt that camila waited a month to call
her, she couldn't hide her smile as she
answered the phone.
"Hey camz."
"Lauren…I-I wasn't expecting you to answer."
"Let me guess. You were gonna leave me a message and you have everything you were gonna say all written out on paper in front of you," said lauren
Camila laughed. "Uh…well, yeah. Pretty much."
"Well, sorry to ruin your plans."
"Lauren jauregui: plan ruiner," teased camila.
"At your service. So what's going on?"
"Um…." Camila looked down at her notes. She really hadn't planned on lauren answering and
now she was completely thrown off. "I was wondering if you were gonna be back in town for Christmas."
Lauren smiled. "Well, I'm thinking my parents might be kind of hurt if I blew them off this year, so yeah. I'll be around."
"Okay. Good. Because I miss you," Camila was nervously pacing the floor.
"Really," began Lauren, solemnly. "Because I wouldn't have known. I thought you were going
to call me."
Camila was quiet on the other end.
Lauren continued. "I mean, I waited around. I was waiting for you to call. I even stayed with my parents 6 days longer than I ever intended to. I
mean…the sacrifices I make for you, camila.
Really. Come on now."
Camila knew lauren was teasing, but under that joking exterior, she could hear the pain in lauren's voice.
"I should have called you. I'm sorry. I just…I didn't know what to say."
"You could have just said 'hi.' I would have been okay with 'hi,'" said Lauren.
Camila continued her pacing until she heard keys rattling at the front door. David was home. She ran into the bedroom and into the walk-in closet, closed the door behind her and began to whisper.
"I just hate talking to you on the phone. It's a constant reminder of the fact that you're not here," admitted Camila.
Lauren's stomach quickly dropped at that statement and then she quickly reminded herself that camila only wanted her friend with
her. Her FRIEND. "But I was there. Like barely a mile away from you. And why are you whispering."
"Camila!"
Lauren could hear David calling for camila through the phone.
Camila continued to whisper, "Look, can you just call me when you're in town. Do you know when that will be?"
"Sometime next week. Probably Wednesday. But camz, why are you whispering? Is it just because David is there?" Camila didn't know how to answer that. Why
WAS she hiding? It's not like her friendship with Lauren was any big secret from David. Still,
for some reason she really didn't want David to listen to their conversation.
"No, it's just…I don't know actually. Um…so where are you?"
"Oh, right now I'm in Memphis. Elvis was calling to me. Though I'm only in a month-to-month lease, which is up next week. I probably won't be coming back. I've had my fill of the
blues. And Beale street can be kind of
depressing at times."
"So Memphis isn't worth coming back to?"asked camila.
"Well, not for me. It's definitely no Montana."
"Is that still the only place you'd go back to?"
"Well, that and Evanston. But for very
different reasons," informed Lauren.
Camila smiled as she whispered one more time,
"So, I'll see you next week?"
"Yeah. You'll see me next week."
It wasn't until Lauren hung up the phone when she realized the sky was completely dark now
and it felt about ten degrees colder than it was before. For some reason, she didn't seem to notice that when she was talking to Camila.
Meanwhile, as camila hung up, she opened her closet door to see David coming into the bedroom.
"Oh, there you are. What were you doing in there?"
"Uh…cleaning," Camila internally kicked herself. She was never really good at lying and had the world's worst poker face, but for some
reason, David didn't seem to notice or care.
"Oh. Well, I just wanted to let you know, it turns out I've gotta fly out to San Francisco to
take care of some stuff for work."
"Oh. Really? When?"
"I leave next Tuesday. I won't be back until
December 28th."
Camila looked at him in shock. "You're gonna be gone for Christmas?"
"Yeah, it looks that way."
"But…this is our first Christmas together. As a married couple."
"Well, what do you want me to do? Quit? Besides, you'll have your family here. You'll be fine. And I'll be back before you know it."
"Yeah, but-"
"Camila, I really don't have the time for this. Or the patience. Just deal with it, okay?"
As David walked out, obviously showing no concern for his wife's feelings, camila began to
find herself almost…relieved that he wasn't going to be around. Then she immediately felt guilty. He was her husband. She shouldn't be
happy when he's away, should she?
The following Tuesday, as Camila walked into her mother's house, she was greeted by one of her favorite smells. The cinnamon potpourri
her mother would always have out during Christmas time. She inhaled the sweet scent as
she called out for her mom.
"In the kitchen!" yelled sinu.
"Hey mom." Camila greeted sinu with a hug.
"Hey. Did you just come from the airport?"
"Yeah. David's flight left half an hour ago."
Sinu looked at her daughter. She knew
something wasn't right. She had known that for quite a while, but wanted to see if maybe it was just a slump camila was in. But she could
tell it was more serious than that. Christmas was camila's favorite time of year and if she
looked so distraught during this time, then something was definitely off.
Sinu motioned to the stools at the counter as they both sat down.
"Okay mija. What's wrong?" asked sinu.
Camila looked around. "Where's Eli?"
"He's at your dad's helping decorate the tree.
You are allowed one subject change and that was it. Now what's going on, sweetie?"
Camila refused to look her mother in the eye.
Not to be rebellious or ungrateful, but because
she knew if she did, she'd start to sob
uncontrollably. So she looked at the blinking lights around the fireplace in the next room. As she transfixed on the hypnotizing lights, the
words just started to flow out.
"I'm not happy, mom."
"I know that, mija.  Why?"
"I just…I think that maybe…I mean, have you ever done something that…you wish you
hadn't? But it's kind of a big thing and you can't really take it back? At least not without some severe consequences."
"I've had a few of those events, yes. We all have."
"Really?"
"Yeah. But you're being a little vague. Would you care to elaborate?" But sinu knew what Camila was getting at. She just wanted Camila to
be able to admit it out loud, so she could hear
it for herself. Admitting is the first step. Trite, but very true.
Camila could feel the lump in her throat getting
bigger as she turned to sinu.  There was no sugarcoating this. There was no beating around the bush. Her voice trembled as she answered
her mom.
"I just think I made a really big mistake in marrying David."
Sinu let those words digest for a moment. She was prepared to hear them, but didn't want to
react too quickly.
Camila continued as she started balling. "And I'm sorry, mom. I'm so sorry. I know you and dad put a lot of money into the wedding and I
really don't want to let you down. And I don't want you to think I'm a failure…."
"Mila, that's impossible. Why would we ever think you're a failure?"
"Because, I've been married what? Four months? And I can't even make it work."
Sinu's heart grew heavy as she saw the tears streaming down her daughter's face. She
swiftly wrapped camila up in a hug and
consoled her daughter.
"Mija, you are not a failure. And you're not letting us down. And who cares about the money?" Sinu pulled back to look her
daughter in the eyes. "Listen to me. We get one life. And that's it. You have to do what makes
you happy and seeing as how you're crying like this, obviously you're not happy. In this life, I believe that everyone is entitled to two or three really big, monumental mistakes. Without them, how would we ever learn to appreciate what we
get right in life? And mija,this is only one mistake for you. You're allowed two more. And since you're such an amazing person, you may
even be allowed three more."
Camila looked at her mom and had never been more grateful to her than at that moment. She
found sinu's words very comforting and
reassuring. And it made things a little easier knowing that her mother would be on her side if she decided to end things with David. Camila
didn't say anything in response. She simply cried and allowed her mother to hold her and comfort her once more.
Sinu and camila didn't speak of their
conversation for the rest of the week. They both knew that eventually they would discuss it again, but Christmas wasn't the time to do so.
It was finally Christmas Eve and camila was now at the Manning house trying to guide Eli and Grace as they try to straighten the
Christmas tree, which Zoe had so clumsily run
into. Camila tilted her head, but the tree was still slightly askew. She was in the middle of
giving them directions on which way to move it when the doorbell rang. And at that, Grace and
Eli's tree director was gone. She had sprinted to the door, pulled it open and immediate greeted Lauren with an excited hug.
"Hey!" exclaimed camila.
"Hey yourself. Merry Christmas!"
Camila started wiping the snow off of lauren's jacket as she came into the house, then finally
gave up and just took the jacket off.
"Wow, you must be freezing," said camola.
"Well, I was but man alive it's warm in here!"
"Hey Lauren," yelled Eli as he was still trying to adjust the tree.
Lauren watched Eli, knowing full well what he was trying to attempt, but the smartass in her just wouldn't die. "Hey Eli. Uh…you know…that
tree looks crooked."
"Oh, really? I hadn't noticed."
"Yeah, it's leaning to the left."
"Oh, well thanks for pointing that out," replied Eli.
"Oh don't mention it. I'm here to help."
Eli and Lauren were having one of their
legendary stare-downs. And as always, lauren won. Eli shook his head and smiled.
"Really. I've missed this," he said.
"I know you have."
Camila pulled lauren over to the couch and sat down. Despite the awkward moment between
them the last time they saw each other, it was
still as if nothing had happened and no time had passed. Awkward moments were few and far between with these two. Lauren had
temporarily forgotten about how hurt she was when camila didn't call her. Just looking into camila's expressive eyes was enough to melt
away any animosity she had. Lauren had been looking forward to this visit for a while. She was excited, yet incredibly nervous at the same
time. Her heart began to nervously race as she sat there trying to listen to camila go on about what's been happening in the past month, but
Lauren couldn't quite seem to calm her nerves.
She started smiling half way through camila's story, causing camila to pause mid-sentence.
"What?"
"What do you mean 'what?'" asked lauren.
"You're smiling."
"Oh my God! I am? Oh, I'm so sorry, camila.
Smiling? On Christmas eve? In your presence?
I'm sorry. I can't even look at you. I must hang my head in shame."
"Okay, okay Miss Drama Queen. Is mockery all you know?"
"What can I say? I'm fluent in sarcasm," said Lauren. "And I was smiling just because I missed
you. Aren't I allowed to miss you?"
Lauren reached her hand out and placed on camila's hand. Camila immediately looked down
as she felt her entire body shift. In that one touch, she had become completely relaxed. It took a moment for her to register that sinu
was calling her.
"Mija, could you help me in the kitchen real quick?"
Camila looked at Lauren, who was still smiling at
her. She slowly pulled her hand away and went into the kitchen to help her mother. Lauren took a deep breath and leaned back on the couch.
She'd been taking deep breaths constantly for the last few days. Normally, lauren would never
allow herself to get this nervous over anything, but whenever camila was involved…well…let's
just say that the younger girl had a way of bringing Lauren to her knees.
Lauren nervously fumbled with an envelope she pulled out of her back pocket. Her shaky hands perused the envelope as her fingers ran
up and down the creases. Lauren had held on to this envelope for seven years…or rather, she
had held on to the letter that's inside of it.
But now, she decided it was time for camila to finally read what lauren had written to her all
those years ago. Because those feelings remained the same. If anything they were stronger than before. Lauren quickly slipped the
letter back into her pocket as camila came back into the living room.
"What was that?" asked camila.
Lauren stared at Camila, not knowing exactly what to say until finally the words came out.
"It's your present."