Hoping To Relate In Any Way

Fear Of Conflict

  As a married couple its typical to argue and fight occasional, but have the parents ever thought of the child that witnesses this. My parents aren't abusive or anything nor are they different from the average family. But every time they argue and get mad, I somehow have this twisted feeling in my stomach just making me feel uneasy, unnerved and most of all afraid of the future. Thoughts rush to my head thinking "what if this causes them to have a divorce?", "what will happen if it does?", "How longer will they argue for", "Why am I so scared of losing them?","Please I don't want them to separate, they love me so much I want this to last!". Eventually all of these emotions rush through me. Pain, Fear,Worry,Doubt and Sadness, but then at one point I stop. All feeling of fear and worry just gone and at that moment I realized I was at peace?, "NO!" I thought, "I should be worried, I should be afraid, I shouldn't be feeling nothing, I should be in panic, I should be afraid my parents will divorce". But no... for some reason my mind for the first time in midst of there argument I was at peace. I was at peace, but why, Now I know, Because every time parents... MY parents argue they eventually make amends, in some ways they do?. Is this why I'm at peace with this, is my brain, my thoughts, myself saying to me that it's all going to be okay?. 

(Please note: this isn't some steaming bullshit attention seeking rant, all of this was from how I feel, I honestly had experience this as a kid but to be honest now it's actually made my parents and I closer. I mostly wrote this since I needed to release some steam, but curious if anyone else felt this, and even if they haven't I hope that this experience that I wrote could some way help with anyone going through something like this)