The palm of my hand was quick to meet the concrete as soon as I had made a wrong move and tripped over my own foot, the feeling of humiliation warming me up until I could physically feel and see it in my face. My nose wrinkled as a grunt escaped my chapped and stained lips, my hazel eyes focused upon my palm that lay flat on the ground. I didn't bother standing up, even though there were people walking by, I stayed there. I rolled over, moved back, and sat there with my legs crossed. I held up my hand to my line of sight. There were a few scratches, nothing major, but it made me feel... Clumsy. I'm already a clumsy person as is, but this made me feel like a mess. Like a run down mess that's been spat out and trampled on because people didn't see it. And honestly? I am a mess. A forgotten mess. And I've learned to accept it with everything in my being. Though being forgotten was one of my worst fears as a child, it didn't worry me now. I knew it would happen, and I should've expected it.
As soon as I got home, I jumped in the shower. Rubbed the filth off of my olive skin so that I could feel clean again. Less like a mess, per say. I wrapped my gray towel around my body and tucked it securely under my arm. I didn't bother looking at myself in the mirror because I genuinely didn't see a point. What's the point of looking at yourself when you're someone that's completely unrecognizable from who you were.. barely a year ago? As I made my way through the hallways of my house, dripping wet, my damp hair leaving a trail behind me as I stepped down the stairs, I listened to my own breathing. It was steady, however, my thoughts were off the rails.
I eventually ended up in the kitchen, towel still wrapped around me as tight as it could be. The lights were off and it was drawing near midnight, yet I had no problem navigating through the dark. I knew where everything was and I didn't have a hard time finding things when I needed them. I ended up rummaging through my drawers until I found a lighter. The lighter you left. I held it up. Held it up to the scratches on my hand and flicked it on, held it against my hand without hesitation.
You're burning me.
