Broken hearts and the days that followed

Day zero. The break up.

B: Can we talk? [Please say yes, or if not, just hug me and tell me that you love me]

J: What do you want to talk about?

("Se puede saber qué estás haciendo?" "Estoy tocando la batería" "Aaa estás tocando la baterá, no me di cuenta, perdon")

("Sos un tiernito" "A un tiernito?" "Qué estás haciendo?" "Estoy armando el ring papa" "El ring lo estás armando? Me estás desafiando?" "Te animás?")

B: You think there is nothing to talk about?

J: I don't know. To be honest at this point, I do not know. [Yes, we do have to talk, and I do want to tell you how important this, whim you call it, is to me. Even more, I need to tell you how important your opinion is, how much I need you to support me in my decisions. And oh how badly I want to share my life with you.]

B: Look Junior, I believe we are out of tune, you know? [And that's a lie, I believe we are a perfect symphony, it's just I believe I am too loud for you and break your tone]

J: Yes it can be true that you are right, what do I know? But it is part of our relationship, I do not know what it is that you want me to tell you. [I know what you want me to tell you, but I can't speak, I can't, words are not coming out of my mouth, I need you to help me and I will say it]

("Me confundís" "¿Qué?" "Que me confundís, que no sé que carajo me pasa con vos pero no quiero que me pase más!" "Para, tranquilizate" "No tranquilizate nada, porque yo no soy así." "Pero qué te pasa?" "No me pasa, no sé qué me pasa pero me da miedo" "Pero para Junior,..." ... "Lo único que quiero es que te quede claro que a mí me gustan las minas, ok?" "A mí no me tenés que convencer")

("Mira Junior, vos estás confundido, es un tema tuyo y yo te respeto. Si yo hice o dije algo que te molestó, te pido perdon." "Pero vos no dijiste ni hiciste nada malo Blas.")

B: No the relationship does not have to be that way. For me, it is totally the opposite, you know, that is what I am referring to. [I swear I only mean the best]

J: What are you doing? Hey! Blas, can you tell me what does this mean? [No, please, don't]

B: [It means I am breaking into pieces]

("Yo también tengo mis problemas y nadie me ayuda." "Vos no te dejas ayudar que es distinto eso.")

J: I do not understand, is there something you want to tell me, because you come, you leave the ring to me as if it was...

B: As if it was what? The end? [I do not want it to be, I swear, but it is for the best] For me it is the end Junior. [And I mean literally, I don't think there will come again a day I will be as happy as I was with you. But I know you will. And you will be even better off, I am sure of it.]

("Puede ser que esta noche no hablemos de nada vos y yo?" "Nos quedamos callados?" "No, callados no, pero no quiero seguir contandote mis problemas y no quiero que vos me sigas dando consejos todo el tiempo. Te pido un solo favor. Que esta noche, todo vuelva ser como era antes")

("Che, y esta pulserita?" "La encontré en la calle")

J: No, no, wait, wait.

B: Look Junior, you are used to someone looking for you, running behind you, and I do not see things that way. [Why did this just come out of my mouth? I don't even believe it myself. I am aware that his behavior is nothing but his defense mechanism. But I cannot cope with this defense mechanism.] The relationship has to be much easier, much simpler.

J: But it is simple.

B: No, it is not. [But it could very well be, if I was capable of handling things as I should. But I can't and I only do things worse]

J: Why not?

B: Because not. Simple would be, loving each other, not creating conflicts, and here, there are conflicts... [Conflicts are to be resolved not avoided, but I am just not good at it. I always end up hurting you]

("No no estoy enojado Blas" "No sé qué hacer" "Con qué?" "Con vos, Junior. Sé que te pasa algo, pero cada vez te pregunto te pones peor. Y la verdad no me gusta verte así" "A mí tampoco. Estoy muy confudido, no sé que me pasa. Ayudame porfavor." "Bueno, para, tranquilo" "A mí me pasa algo, me pasa algo con vos. No sé que es, pero desde que llegaste me armaste un quilombo en la cabeza que no lo puedo entender.")
("Por qué viniste acá Blas?" "Por vos, no me gustó como te fuiste")

J: But I do love you. Wait, you have to be more clear, because I do not understand what it is that you want to tell me. [I know it very well, but here is a chance, to pull back your words. Please pull back your words and tell me you love me. Afterwards I will apologize. I know I am exaggerating] What is a conflict for you? That I want to marry you? Or live with you? Or adopt someone with you? Or I think about things and I want to do them with you? Is that a conflict for you? [I know that it is not about all of this. I know you want the same things. I understand that you don't want it right now. But right now I need it. I need you to support me. Please, please, please let this one pass. I am begging you. I cannot explain it in any other way.]

("Para, escuchame una cosa. Lo único que te pido es que por favor nos olvidemos de esto, que te vayas, que me dejes solo y que te olvides..." "Para, deja que te ayude." "No, no quiero que me ayudes. No quiero que me ayudes. Lo único que podes hacer es irte y dejarme solo. Profavor. Anda!")

B: Look Junior, I feel that you don't have enough with me. That it is not enough everything we built, you always want more and you always create a conflict, but you know what? This time I have a conflict. I am tired Junior. That's it. It is over for me. It is over. [Who am I trying to lie to? Myself? When all you need is be with me. When all you want is me holding you. Nothing more. I just cannot handle the way you ask for it, and as a result I cannot give you what you want. I am so sorry. I am sure someone else will]

("Te puedo hacer una pregunta?" "Otra más? Ya me hiciste varias" "Sí pero esta vez quiero que me digas la verdad. Vos renunciaste por mi?" "Sí." "No me querés ver más?" "No, no es eso" "Qué es entonces?" "Que no te quero joder Junior. Yo sé que te hago mal. Y si hay algo que me lastima mucho es verte sufrir." "Vos no me hacés mal")

("No, a vos no te reemplaza nadie" "Junior, no me la hagas más dificil, por favor")