Was It Real?

Chapter One: The Move In

I have a hard time looking into the mirror and believing I am human because of how I look. I look like someone out of a self perseverance magazine, and I have no clue how to deal with it. You may say that, that should be a good thing, but let me list the things that make it impossible for me to be any kind of 'good model'. One, no matter how hard I try I can't get into shape, I bike and run all the time and only lose a pound in a month. Two, I have vitiligo, it's a skin condition that makes me look like a flesh tone piece of camo that I can't take off. Three, I am blind as a bat and can't see shit with or without my glasses. Four, I have grey eyes that stare into people's souls. Last but not least, five, I would end up accidentally biting my lip in a totally innocent photo shoot. "MOLLY!" I jumped at the fact that my mom had actually called me for something.

I opened the door to a semi-lit hallway with a few doors to either side of mine. Turning right and looking down the stairs I see my mom worriedly looking for me through the darkness of the hallway. "I'm right here mom." I say looking straight into her eyes. She still doesn't see me but says ok anyways. She walks up the stairs and flicks on the light as I walk backwards to let her be able to stand where I was. "There's something important you want to talk about, isn't there?" I say looking her up and down and finally meeting her sad, broken eyes.

"No, not exactly," she says with a slight smile, as much as she could mustre. I stand looking at her waiting for her to say something and she finally does, "You can finally be able to move out. I gathered up the money for you to live in any apartment you want whether it's near here or not."

I was shocked, I didn't know what to say, I mean, I've wanted to be able to have my own place for a while but, this? My mom was never one for surprises, so it makes this more of a surprise to me. I look into her eyes and try to see what emotion she was having so I could match it but, nothing.

My mother has been empty like that for a while. When she was younger and my dad was still here she was the happiest person I knew. She would always find a way to make any situation better but now there's nothing. It sounds cliche, but she's just a shell of what she used to be.

"Wow, I have no idea what to say. How did you get the money?"

"I had been saving it ever since you were about seven and now it's at the right place for you to use it," she said with the most joy I've seen out of her in a few months.

"Mom, you are one the most amazing people I know."

"Your father was better than I am, you may not remember, but it's true," she says as sadness glazes back over her excitement.

"You really think so?"

"With most of my heart."

"Not all?"

"I can't be certain of everything."

"Huh, I never thought of that."

"Sorry, I have to get to the laundry room, excuse me." She says abruptly ending the conversation and pushing past me in the narrow hallway. She was never really one for small talk like that.

Anyway, being nineteen has been a hassle with the whole 'moving out' thing. My mom has been saving for me to move and I didn't know about it. I kind of feel bad, but it was her decision. It's been really hard to be nineteen, in college, and still be living with my mom. She loves me, and I know that, but I do need privacy that she, still, doesn't understand. I can't have people over because I know that my mom couldn't handle that even though I would make sure nothing bad would happen.

Right, uh, what about the money?

"Mom," I say as I turned around to her again, "How much money did you end up saving?"