Something written alrighty

Why?

I was just laying there. No feeling. Just there. No one asked how I was, and no one would. I knew how life worked... I knew that this point of life would come just... not this soon. Why? Why did it have to happen now? Why me? I wish I had these answers but all I knew was that it "was all my fault".... I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to happen.

I feel nothing but at the same time I feel uncontrollable sadness. I don't want to feel this, but I also just want to FEEL... no one cares and no one will because I'm too scared to confess the truth because in order to do that I need answer and I don't have them. "Why do you feel like this?" The only way I could answer would only get people more angry with me and I prefer to just sit in the dark so that no one gets upset... I'm sorry... I didn't mean for this to happen... never in a million years but I also just don't care... why doesn't anyone care for me? I never thought to say this but maybe I do.... IM SORRY FOR BEING MYSELF... I'm sorry for being here... I'm sorry for the trouble mom... sorry for the trouble brother... I'm so sorry.....

Please forgive me.