teach me love. || knj

moments

He moved closer. "Y/N, I really think the time has come where we should...I don't know.", he bit his lip lightly. "I really want to kiss you.", he chuckled, a sparkle shining in his eyes and a smile forming. 

This was one of the strange moments in your relationship. One of those moments, that made you question yourself. Should I really be with my teacher? Is that right? Those thoughts scared you, especially when you were with Namjoon at the moment.  Because your head overpowered your heart, your head made you push him away in such an intimate, warm situation. You hated the way his smile faded into worry and you knew it made him feel bad, for things he didn't even do. It made him feel guilty and in the same second, he was afraid the secret between the two of you would slip out. Disappointment laced his face, accompanied by sadness and yeah, even by a tiny bit of anger. Of course he wasn't mad at you, not in a thousand years. He was mad at himself, for pushing you, for destroying the moment. In a millisecond, he was off of you, the comfortable feeling of his touch fading. He shook his had and cleared his throat, trying to forget the moment as quick as possible. The sparkle in his eyes was gone, in fact, they looked matte and emotionless. A whispered word, "Nevermind.", left his lips, for the second time in twenty-four hours. 

You wanted to turn back time, just for five minutes, Just so you would be able to say "Yes.", and finally feel those beautiful lips he had on your own. You knew that this was needed, to prove your love to him, but at the same time, this step scared you, made your thoughts go crazy. What if someone finds out? Will he get in trouble? Will I get in trouble? He will get fired, he will disappear. Maybe it's better to let him go...

The beautiful morning had turned into silence between the two of you. And this silence lasted for two whole days. You wanted to stop it. He didn't text you, didn't call you and didn't talk to you at all. But today you would stop this tragedy.

"Mr. Kim, I would like to talk to you.", you said while your classmates were already leaving the room. "What's wrong, Y/N?", he replied, his voice calm, and monotone. You waited until the last pupil left, before sitting down on his table. "Namjoon...", your voice cracked after his name was spoken. "I'm pretty busy, you know...so hurry.", he hummed and caused you to be even more nervous. "Namjoon, I...I love you.", you whispered, looking into his eyes, searching for a hint of any feelings. Those words made him smile. "I love you too, my girl.", his arms wrapped around your waist gently. "I just...got scared.", he sighed, glancing at your lips. "I never want to make you question your feelings towards me...", his voice was quiet, afraid someone could be hearing him. You smiled at him, placing your arms around his neck as he pulled you on his lap. "Fuck, I missed you.", he hugged you tight against him. You could feel the muscles of his stomach against your own tummy and closed your eyes for a short second, before he tapped your back. "I have to be on a conference in five minutes.", he chuckled and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. Nodding, you got up from his lap. Just as he was about to get up as well, you cupped his face and pressed a soft kiss on his lips. He couldn't help but smile, then he kissed back very gently. After a minute, he pulled away, his common goofy grin playing on his lips. "You make me so happy.", he said before winking and then leaving.

In the evening, you spent time with him again. It was different than usual, as you expected. He was more flirty, more touchy and more confident in general. But you didn't mind. You loved seeing him so joyful.

The two of you exchanged several kisses this evening. Some times he only pecked your lips, on others you almost made out with each other. But he wouldn't let things get this far already. He just wanted to enjoy your company, enjoy being together with you. And he did. Both of you did. 

Your new favourite place was in his arms. Those strong arms. Your heard jumped at the thought. Those muscular, strong, yet so gentle and protecting arms. Along with the loving words he kept whispering into your ear, they made you become all soft for him. Namjoon didn't feel any different about you. He loved having body contact with you. His favourite was the way you would hide your face on his neck whenever he complimented you -and he made sure to do that a lot. The way you started blushing at his words always made his heart melt.

"Y/N, sweetie...", he mumbled, his fingers carefully tangling in your hair. "Mh?", you hummed and turned to look up at his beautiful face. He smiled at you with gentle eyes. "Let's drive somewhere? How about a nice lake? Let's stay the night there...I call in sick tomorrow and you tell your parents you stay at a friend and go to school with them? I'll have your back of course, just in case.", he suggested and you nodded instantly.

The car ride with him was fun. You listened to popular songs and sang along to them (badly). Once you arrived at the rather small lake in the middle of a huge meadow, surrounded by some trees and besides that almost nothing, he gatheres blnkets and pillows. "What are you doing?", you asked, smiling wide. "You'll see.", he answered as he transformed the car. The backseats were laying flat now and he spread the blankets on it so it would become softer. Then he placed the pillows on them. "Perfect.", he grinned at you, then sat down, looking at the water. You sat with him, leaning on his shoulder. "I really like it here, with you.", you smiled up at him. He leaned in to place a soft kiss on your nose. "I used to come here when I first started working at your school.", he explained and you nodded.

The two of you talked a lot this evening. He told you about his past, his future. And you did the same. You told him your plans for what you'd do after school and what you wanted to achieve in life. He listened closely, memorized every single word you said. And soon, you found yourself in his arms again. He was snoring quietly, his head laying just above yours, making you wonder if your hairs would be tickling him. He looked so peaceful in the moonlight. His body was warm and you could feel his chest rising and falling slowly as he was breathing. He held you tight, scared you'd disappear from his embrace. But you wouldn't. You felt protected here, with him. The world could fall apart and you'd stay right there. "I love you so much...", you heard him whisper, still a little hesitant to say those words. "I love you too.", you replied with a small smile, trying to show him that it was okay. he pulled you even closer, nosing along your neck and planting small kisses on your skin. "I hope we never have to part from each other."

[A/N]: Hi! As you maybe are noticing, I update rarely. But that's because school really keeps me busy these days. Though, I'm still trying to write small bits every day so i can upload at the ends of the weeks. I hope you liked this chapter. Please leave some comments, or share my story so more people can read it! :)