i've done it. Moved out. I am here with my dad, starting fresh, i didn't know i was strong enough to stand up to mum but i am. I was an impossible case but now it's different, with the help of some people i stood up to her and now here i am in Brighton St Mary's road. Sorting out my new things in my new room. My room is painted, my bed is new and i am sure this is where i want to be.
I am Alyssa Lily Anderson and i am 16 just about to start my GCSE's and this is really what i need. I thought i was fine back at home before things blew up with mum but that's when she got into the alcohol and the drugs...now i spoke up i want to start fresh and prove that i'm more than just a nerd with a mum that's out of control.
No one liked me before, i doubt that will change here i'm hardly pretty...i'm hardly anything special i just want to make new friends and get on with school as i've only got a year to go. Before i left people took the piss out of me constantly i was a good learner with an open heart but around Liverpool streets and schools that's just not enough. I want to be accepted for who i am no matter my past. I want to be accepted for who i am no matter how smart i am. That being said i'm not going to change myself for others. I just want it to be finished and then i can move out and get my life that i want started.
When i leave school i want to start a salon and help people who can't necessarily afford salon services get that. I just want to help people. I won't need a man. I don't think i've ever been in love. No one has ever really payed interest in me, which doesn't bother me, i just wish sometimes i had someone to hold and tell all my worries too. But on the other hand being alone is better than having a broken heart right?
I lay all my photos out on my bed and hold them close to my heart. I left my sister behind...She wouldn't leave mum, she's only 14, she loves her mum she can't see the true damage but she knows when she wants she can leave at anytime i just wish her luck. The picture of me and her i put on my top shelf. I left my best friend behind...she was angry and sad when i told her i had to leave, she was my only thing that made me question me leaving. She came round everyday because i couldn't cope with looking after my mum and sister alone. I acted like a career to the both of them. But i told her she had to stay and look after my sister and help my sister leave if she needs to. The picture of me and my best friend i put on my middle shelf. I glance at the picture of me and mum...the picture before she met billy who got her into the state she is now. A picture of before she acted like my mum and i didn't act like hers. A picture before my life got to fucked up. I put the picture under my bed with slight hesitation.
