My Papa is a Soldier {ZIAM AU}

Chapter Sixteen

Harry wouldn't leave my side when we got home. He aimlessly followed me around as I tried to keep my mind off of what was really going on.  Cher would be coming next week since she couldn't get off of work but in the mean time, Waliyha and Tricia would be with us.

I remember seeing the looks on their faces when they walked through the door and watching Louis run to Waliyha and instantly cry in her arms and the way he pleaded that she wouldn't leave him tonight and how Waliyha ended up going to Louis' room and laying him down in his bed and rubbing his back until he fell asleep.

Niall went to Tricia and made those grabby hands in which she instantly took, hiking him up on her hip and kissing his forehead. Niall was still upset, I could see it on his face as he whispered all his wants through out the day and how he would just rest his head on Tricia's neck and sigh out every now and again. By now, I had explained to him that Zayn may not come home and he was confused at first but slowly took it in the best he could and just kind of sat there.

Tricia and I had talked a bit but not a lot since I couldn't bare to look at her and see Zayn in her every movement and its the same with Waliyha. And yeah, that's comforting to the boys because they feel like they have a part of Zayn with them but to me... It just reminds me that a part of me is missing.

It was Monday today and we had been home a day. I had spent last night on the floor of Niall's room, giving my room to Tricia and Waliyha because one, who was I to make them sleep on the floor? and two, I couldn't bare to step into the same room that I had spent so many nights in with my beautiful husband.

At the moment, I'm laying on the sofa in the living room with Harry on my stomach, head right under my chest and buried into my neck. I was rubbing soothing circles into his back, kissing his forehead every now and then and humming a random tune.

The past couple of days have been different starting with the fact that my boys were just worn down. Louis hadn't been running around outside with Boris, who Waliyha had brought, and just doing the simple task of taking him outside every now and then and giving him food but other than that, he's barley even given the large black dog any attention. He's barley spoken these past couple of days as well.

Harry was... Well, doing what he's doing now. Moping around and not letting me out of his sight. It's come to the point where I have to bribe him with candy to let me go to the bathroom to shower and all. But that still hasn't stopped him from sitting criss cross at the wall right across from the door. And I don't really say anything about it but I really wished he wouldn't do that because I have to send him back to school next week and I can't just sit with him the entire time.

And then we have Nialler. Sweet baby Nialler.

He's been so fussy lately. He refuses to take naps, refuses to eat, refuses to take a bath unless Tricia gives it to him and Louis isn't there. He cries and screams nonstop. Even at this moment, he's sitting on his knees and screaming for Waliyha, who had set him down to grab him something that may coax him into rating (a fruit roll up is what we agreed on). He also hasn't wanted to be alone, always pleading that someone stay with him in his room when he slept, only for one of us to slip away when he was actually asleep, then try our best to come back in before he woke up (most mornings failing and he'd end up screaming his head off). It's come to the point where Waliyha was planning to just sleep on the recliner in his room so that he could just climb out of his bed and go to her and wake her up.

I hated seeing the pity in Trica and Waliyha's eyes every time my boys would have a fit because I think they realized that I can't do this on my own. Not anymore. And I think that's why their clothes are piling up in the laundry and why they can find things around the house with ease and why they know their ways around town. Because they know that they'll be here a while. And I think we're all feeling the dread of possibly never having Zayn come home. And that kind of sucks because not only would I loose my husband, someone was losing a father, a brother, a best friend.