Dawn • { Four Hours }

Chapter 1 • { Burned out }

The glaring alarm clock across my room stared back at me through the thick blackness that draped over my room, the large red numbers flipping and changing through the hours as endlessly as well as mindlessly I stared at it, my eyes beginning to lower every hour that passed. Every minute, and every second, nothing to think about and sleep was out of the question.

This was every night for me, insomnia was a bitch, for as long as I remember I have always had trouble sleeping. My mother constantly would speak in a joking tone whenever it popped up in conversations, "Oh yeah, and this one here would cry all through the night, we never knew what was wrong with her. She would either burn herself out or just not sleep at all, a troubling one she is."

My alarm popped off and blared into my ears, shoving me out of my thoughts, my brain took a moment to register what was happening. I saw the emboldened numbers on the clock blink constantly and I just glared at them for a split second, also taking note of the grayish-black cloud of light pouring through my curtained window.

Dawn

My shuffled over to my pillow and remained thee as I just listened to the alarm. Nothing ever works, my eyes are heavy but they won't shut, and I'm tired but I'm never graced with a pleasant sleep. I inhale and push myself up, feeling the stiffness and tire of my bones, skin and everything in between. Everything ached and was heavy, I sat up and hunched over before finally standing and lifting my head to stare at the ceiling.

I gave a heaving sigh and then turned to the clock which still continued beeping, my lips falling into a frown before I felt a sudden burst of anger, stalking over to it, I knocked it off of the nightstand I had it setting on.

It knocked against the wall and stopped beeping, though the screening on it was rendered black, broken. I stumble back a bit and place my hands over my eyes, giving almost a whimper "God just let me sleep."

        •

Slinging my bathroom door shut I lean over and peer at myself in the mirror, my reflection made me grimance, the bags under my eyes were slightly sunken and reddened. My eyes strained and bloodshot, my hair an utter rats-nest as well as my skin nearly colorless. I shook my head and tried to dwell on my appearance too much, I thought of it as something good in some way, all the people that lived around me were vain and overbearing.

Confident till the point of being cocky, I fucking hated that. Maybe it was a good thing that I was ugly, maybe it made me see things a little clearer, my hair jet black and eyes an incredibly dull brown. A few freckles sprinkled around my nose and almost non-existant cupids bow, my brows stiff and thick, though in that way of seeing things as they were.. It made my looks not feel so awful.

My body was slightly pudgy, a muffin around the stomach and thick thighs and a bust to back it up. Out of all the things I could hate about myself, my body I hated the most. Not to mention I was short and stout, all the things I had never wanted to be..

I opened my medicine cabinet behind the mirror and eyed the bottles that lined the shelves and spotted one captioned ' Energy pills ' I pulled them from the cabinet and pushed it shut before opening the cap. I always took more than I was supposed to, but they never worked much, four was my max amount. But I eyed the bottle and then shook out six of the long and jelly-bean shaped pills, how much could it hurt ?

        •     FLASHBACK

"Alright Mrs. Taliayh, we have you're test results back."  I force myself to look up out of respect, I didn't want to be here, a man with thinning hair gave a small obviously forced smile at me. Most likely trying to be polite, that's how I knew whatever my result was.. Was awful. "You're diagnosis." He said with a little more base to possibly catch my attention, I opened my eyes fully and nodded my head to seem more intent and awake. "O-Oh-" I caught myself "Oh, yes please, what are they?"

The mans thin lips pursed as he looked down at a notepad and sighed as he shook his head "Well, your case has been unlike many we see.. You're said to only get four hours of sleep and less as of current. Yet you always awake at the same time, the brink of dawn." He eyed me almost seriously for a moment.

"So i'm an insomniac?" I blurted out before I could really think about what I was saying, though I already knew the answer. He nodded "As of now, that's all we can diagnos you as." He leaned over and opened his desk drawer and pulled out a bottle of pills, and passed it over to me. I held it and examined it for a moment before peering up at him, "Take two every night before bed, and try to sleep at a reasonable time, if there are no results of anything improving than please feel free to come see me."

I read the pill bottle again and nodded
"Thank you."

        •        FLASHBACK END

I swallowed them one by one, swallowing down a large gulp of water almost a little too quickly, I gave a sigh and placed down the cup and breathed in slowly. Its been two months since I went, and its still been the same, in some ways worse.

But I've never went back.