"Danke, Y/N." "No problem Joseph (Medic). Why did you need me here again?" You asked. You were in Joseph's surgery room. There was dried blood splattered all over the wall. Joseph said he needed you for something so you came by. "I need you to test out zis new medicine I made. Is slightly acidic but otherwise fine." He smiled. "Sure, who do I use it on?" "Lets zay...Ah! Ze Spy shall do, I have yet to get my revenge on him." He smirked, the darkness blinding his eyes, making it even more dramatic. "What does it do Joseph?" You asked, curiously tilting your head to a side. He noticed this and turned pink. "Ah your so cute, zis makes it so that whoever drinks zis goes drunk for a day!" "Ah, nice." "Danke." He was about to give you the medicine but... Oof! He accidentally dropped it, spilling the medicine everywhere! "Scheiße! Die medizin ist überall! Beweg dich nicht!" He started panicking and screaming things in German, luckily you knew what he said and immediately stopped moving. (He said "F***! The medicine is everywhere! Don't move!") You looked at Joseph and he slipped and fell, butt first onto the medicine. "Mir geht's gut, mach dir keine sorgen!" He yelled. (Meaning : im fine! Don't worry!) Suddenly, he fell to the ground, unconscious. Joseph! Joseph?! You shook him but nothing happened. You ran to tell Scout and Spy, Spy told you to get him on a bed and let him rest, while scout said to draw on his face. You agreed with both, mainly scout.
"He's gonna hate us for this!" You giggled. You and Scout were drawing a cat on Medic's face. "Oooh! Add a dick!" he smirked. You looked at him mischievously and obliged, drawing a dick on the poor Medic. Halfway through, Medic bolted up screaming. "THE CUPCAKES! THE CUPCAKES!!!" "W-woah! What?" Scout tilted his head in confusion and looked over to you. You shrugged in reply. "THE CUPCAKES ARE BEING EATEN BY THE DEPRESSED ONION! I TOLD HIM NOT TO GO NEAR THEM!!!" He shouted once more before running out of bed into the kitchen. You and Scout followed. "AHSHFJCBCKDKDJCJC THE CUPCAKEEEEESSS!!!!!" "What in the holy Mary mother of Joseph is happening out here?!" Engie yelled, in his pajamas. He probably took a nap. You and Scout looked at him and gave him the same look he had on his face, 'i dont fucking know'. "AHA! I FOUND YOU KNOW ONION!!!!" Medic was holding a cucumber. "NOW YOU GET PUNISHMENT! YOUR GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME EHEHEHEHEHEHDHFHJSNCNCNCNCMSNXN" Medic spazzed out, saying unintelligible words. He started spinning in the air, like a starfish.... "WHAT IN THE HOLY MOTHER OF JOSEPH IS HAPPENING?!" Engie shrieked like my mom. "I DONT KNOW EITHER! MEDIC CUT IT OUT!" Scout yelled at the now floating starfish Medic. Medic replied to him by going sonic fast, spinning faster than a fidget spinner, and he cut through the roof of the house and flew to space. "JDJFJCNCNCNSKKSLAKFMCBCKANSNSBBX" you...screamed? (Mumbled? Yelled? Ok what the fuck do you call that ._.) Soldier soon came out and asked what happened, but before he could he saw a huge hole in the roof and medic blasting off into space, now farting rainbows. "MAGGOTS! I demand to know whats going on here!" He yelled. Everyone gave him the 'i don't fucking know' look. He groaned. "Ill fix this." He then put one arm in the air into a fist and the other arm next to his body, like superman. And then.... He....
FLEW INTO SPACE.
"WHAT THE FUK IS HAPPENING?!!!!" Scout screamed. Soldier then grabbed the nyan-cat-like Medic and brought him to the house. "Thank you young citizens, you have led me to the evil doctor krentis. This man is not Joseph, but he is instead Dr.Krentis! Dr.Krentis is a high doctor that farts rainbows and acts like a moron 99.9% of the time, but he only has unlimited supplies of candy. So thank you citizens, for screaming like you've seen your parents having sex, so that i could find the unlimited candy. Peace." and with that 'soldier' flew off into space with Dr.Krentis and the unlimited amount of candy.
You and Scout were in the mental hospital for a week.
YOU ARE READING
Life in Red (Tf2 Characs. X Reader)
FanfictionYou had just been hired at your new job by Miss Pauling. You absolutely loved it here, not only did you like being a mercernary you also loved the people here, and they loved you too. Maybe a bit too much? Types of requests allowed : -OC Reader x T...
