My childhood didn't come
With an expiry date or a
Sticker stamp of "best before"
So I'm not quite sure
When it's supposed to end
Does it continue
Until I'm eighteen, an "official" adult?
But no,
That seems far too technical
For something
As physical as childhood
AND BESIDES,
I DON'T QUITE FEEL LIKE A CHILD AND
I HAVEN'T FELT LIKE ONE FOR A LONG WHILE
SO THAT MUST MEAN
THAT MY CHILDHOOD IS OVER.
So when did I stop being a child?
Was it when I woke up
With red
Between my legs
But no,
That seems far too physical
To be the benchmark
For something so emotional as childhood
SO DID IT END WHEN I
STARTED CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT
OR WHEN I STOPPED BEING ABLE TO SLEEP ALTOGETHER
WITHOUT NEEDING THE ASSISTANCE
OF PILL BOTTLES
Did it end
When I stopped wishing you would come home
When I started hating you for leaving
When I stopped hating you
And started hating myself instead
For giving you incentive
Maybe you took my childhood with you
In that gray bag of yours,
(That you'd bring back from business trips, loaded with chocolates for me)
Maybe you took it with you,
In that gray bag of yours
To your new family
And your brand new life
With the red-ribbon wrapping still intact
Unlike this worn out life of ours
Which had obviously reached
It's expiry date
And was no longer fit for your consumption
But no, this seems far too emotional
To define something
As abstract
As childhood
So maybe my childhood departed
Not when I developed a permanent aversion
To the words
Father
Family
But when I discarded
My previous assertion
That caffeine couldn't cure anything
Because after emptying
Countless cups of boiling black coffee down my throat
Without once complaining
About the bitterness
I NO LONGER FEEL
LIKE A CHILD
~from LUKEWARM by OCKTOPUSES
YOU ARE READING
DEMONS AND ANGELS
Thơ caPOETRY FROM MULTIPLE AUTHORS ON WATTPAD AS WELL AS MY OWN. I GIVE CREDIT AS CREDIT IS DUE. *TRIGGER WARNING! MAY BE GRAPHIC AT TIMES*