The unsettling truth can settle your soul

New friends and new possibilities (Chapter 12)

They had convinced her to stay at Lucien's and she had excused herself to go to bed a few minutes later. Now sitting in Velaris, she sips her vanilla latte and thinks about what her future with her boys will involve. 'Will they decide that they no longer want me? That they are better of with just them, without me.' She sighed 'why would they want me anyway?' She stood up and waved at Nuala and Cerridwen, walking out of the shop, fresh air hitting her face. She seemed to wonder around a lot lately, luckily she only had two more days till the weekend and then she could start her new job. She never thought she would look forward to working. As she wondered around she bumped into a familiar blonde. "Mor?" Feyre shouts, jogging to catch up to her. Mor turned around and a smile spread across her face when she spotted who had called her name. "Feyre!" She gave Feyre an enthusiastic hug. "How are you? Rhys said you got the job! Congratulations." She chatted enthusiastically. "I'm okay, yeah I know! I never thought I would look forward to working" Feyre laughed. Mor linked their arms and started to walk again, dragging Feyre along with her. "Fancy a bit of window shopping?" Mor said already leading her to the mall.

They had been walking around for a few hours, chatting and getting to know each other. Feyre didn't have many friends, especially not ones that understood her as well as Mor did. They had clicked straight away and they become friends instantly. "Oh shit, sorry Feyre I got to go. I have to meet up with someone else." She said sounding sincerely apologetic. "Don't worry! I should probably head home as well." Feyre and Mor hugged, parting ways. As she slowly wandered back to Lucien's apartment she thought about the previous night. 'Did I make a mistake saying they didn't have to wait?' She questions herself. She wanted them to be happy, she knew that but she desperately wanted to be the cause of their happiness. But she only just broke up with Tamlin. She can't move on that quickly. Or could she?

She arrived at the apartment and entered with the key Lucien had given her. Walking in she saw Lucien sitting on the sofa, scrolling on his laptop. "Hey Luc." She chirps, sitting next to him. "Hey Fey." He says, turning his computer away from her so she couldn't see what was on it. "What are you hiding there, mister?" She questioned, raising an eyebrow. Glancing up at her, he shrugged. "Nothing you need to worry about missy." He replied poking her side. She rolled her eyes but a small smile tugged at her lips. "Whatever you say." She stood up and went into her room to put on some comfy clothes. As she was getting changed she heard Lucien call out her name. "Yeah?" She yelled slipping on tracksuit bottoms. "What do you want for dinner?" She could faintly hear him yell. Stepping out of her room and walking over to the counter where Lucien was, she looked over his shoulder and looked at the takeaway menus. "Ummm Chinese?" She says, leaning her chest on his back so that she could see the writing better. Lucien stiffened under her touch and he coughed slightly. "Yeah we could get that." His voice sounded strained. "We don't have to if you don't want to?" She says, moving to lean against the counter. "No Chinese is good." He doesn't quite meet her eyes. "What's wrong?" She questions, trying to catch his eye. "Nothing" He shifts uncomfortably before taking out his phone and quickly texting someone. "Okay" She drags out the word, still unsure. "What do you want?" She asks, taking the menu from his hands, scanning the page. "Um, I don't know. I asked Rhys round. If that's okay?" Lucien answered, glancing at his phone. Feyre stiffened, "Yeah sure that's fine." She faked a smile that she knew he wouldn't believe. She walks back into her room not wanting Lucien to see the tears in her eyes.

Half an hour later she heard the front door open and talking floated into her room. "How is she?" She recognized Rhys silky voice. 'Why does he have to care so much?' She thought to herself. 'It would be so much easier if they weren't so caring.' She sighed frustrated and flopped onto her bed. Her door squeaked open and she looked up to see both of her boys standing in the doorway. "Hello Feyre Darling." Rhys purred. "Hello Rhys" She flopped her head back down and starred at the ceiling. "You okay Fey?" Lucien asks. "Yup." Feyre swung her legs onto the floor and stood up. "Got any good wine?" Feyre asks and pushes past the pair. "Why?" Rhsy asks concered. "Don't read to much into it Rhys, I just want some alcohol." She shrugs and bends down to look at the wine Lucien had to offer. Grabbing a random bottle she turns around and raises the bottle, silently asking if they want some. "Definitely." Rhys answers, whilst Lucien shakes his head. "So predictable." Feyre comments and grabs two glasses from the cupboard. Pouring two healthy glasses, she hands one to Rhys whilst taking a swig from her own glass. Lucien and Rhys exchanged a glance as she took another big chug of her drink. "I can see you silently talking about me." She says leaning against the stove. "What do you mean?" Lucien asks and Rhys raises an eyebrow, smirking. "The meaningful eye contact that I know is about me." She sips her wine, observing the two. "Not everything is about you, Feyre darling." Rhys comments. Feyre huffs and stands up straight. "I don't want anything to eat. You two do whatever." She walks into her room slamming the door. Sinking to the floor, she leans against the door letting silent tears drip down her face. 'Of course not everything is about me. Why did I say that?' she scolds herself. She downs the rest of her dink and sets it down next to her. She just wanted to forget everything and one glass of wine wasn't going to do that. "I need something stronger. But I can't go back out there again." She hated how complicated everything was. First Tamlin and now that she was free she had to deal with this. She had feelings for two people, two people who didn't like her back. They did yesterday but why would they now. All she did was complicate things. She was so frustrated with herself. Wiping away the angry tears on her cheeks, she stood up and took of her clothes, standing only in her bra and underwear. She crawled into bed, deciding that sleep was the second best thing to help her forget everything.

She woke up again in the middle of the night. Checking her phone she saw that it was 2am. She groaned, rolling over and snuggling her head into the pillow. The pillow was harder than she remembered, and warmer. Opening her eyes she looked up and gasped trying to move away. "Rhys?!" She gasped still struggling to move away. "Relax. I just came in to see if you were okay." He said as if it explained anything. "And? That doesn't explain why you in my bed. Half naked!" She exclaimed noticing the absence of his top. "Well you looked so peaceful I wanted to join you. And I can't sleep in a shirt now can I?" He explained shrugging. " Still. You can't just climb into my bed whilst I'm asleep." She seethed finally standing up. "Lucien did it too." He wined pouting, if it had been in any other situation she would have melted at the look on his face, but he had climbed into her bed and apparently so had Lucien. "What?!" She franticly looked around the room. "He went to go get some water, that's why you woke up." Sitting up he lets the duvet slip down his torso, exposing his toned abs. Feyre couldn't stop her eyes from glancing at his abdomen. "You were the one that said you weren't ready Feyre." Rhys reminds her, obviously catching her starring. "I know Rhysand." She said through gritted teeth. The door opened and Lucien slipped inside, trying to keep silent. Turning around, he froze when he saw that they were both awake. "Um. Morning?" He sounded unsure. "No not 'morning'. Why are you in my room?" She stalks towards him. "You looked so peaceful." He answers. "Yeah I was already told that. But that doesn't answer my question." She places her hands on her hips and shivers at her cold hands making contact with her bare skin. Wait, why was it making contact with bare skin? She quickly glances down and realizes that she was still in only her underwear. Gasping she pulls the duvet to cover herself up. "Get out! Get out now!" She yells at both of them. They had seen her body. She didn't let anyone see her body. Her vision began to blur but she could still make out two figures standing in front of her. "Why are you crying?" Rhys asks, cupping her cheek while Lucien rubs his hand up and down her arm comforting her. "I said get out!" She flinches away from their touch. "Fey, why are you crying?" Lucien pleads. She just sinks to the floor and starts to cry hysterically. "Feyre!" Both of them exclaim rushing towards her. "Don't!" She fell back trying to escape them. "Don't look at me." She didn't know why she was getting so upset over this but she was. It might be because the only person that had seen her like this was Tamlin. And he always found something to fault about her appearance. "Feyre, you are the most beautiful human being I have ever seen. Don't be ashamed of you body." Lucien tried to sooth her. Rhys knelt down in front of her, not touching her "Feyre, when you see yourself in the mirror all you see are your flaws. But me looking at you right now all I see is this beautiful girl who has known too much heartbreak for her age. I see pure perfection in what you see as faults." He looks into her eyes, letting her see the truth in them. She flings herself into his arms and wraps her arms around his neck. Sobbing into his chest she feeling Lucien behind her and she lifts her head and turns to look at him. He offers her his shirt. She smiles slightly and takes it. Slipping it onto her petite frame, she relaxes and grabs his hand. He smiles at her and squeezes her hand. With one arm wrapped around Rhys' neck and the other hand resting in Lucien's she felt the most at peace she had in more than a year.