Phil I miss you

1

2 weeks passed since phil is gone.

I can not recover from his absence so present in this house, so many objects and furniture bears his name, I have the impression that it speaks to me all, as if his soul infiltrated in this stay. Without even taking a look at our Youtube channels to see him just thinking about him constantly, it haunts my mind.

Where are you phil?

Why did you give up on me?

And now I start talking to myself, going around in circles without stopping.

Rain falls like ropes as my heart cries with blood, I even feel like he's watching me outside.

I sit on the sofa in the living room with my back bent, my hands clenching my head, teeth that squeak, my tears flowing on my cheeks and my neck, my chest under my black t-shirt, I hit my knees and shake them intensely throws my head up the ceiling opens my mouth and shouts silently, my throat tightens with each contraction of my vocal cords, I rest my face on my hands and blink for a moment as i re imagining the image of phil, I utter a cry of fatigue and despair: « oh my God, why? ... » I lay on my back and think back to our first meeting , it intoxicating my heart, squeezes more and more the scrolling memories under my heavy eyelids swollen with sadness.

I do not want to go back to my first past, it's would be hard for me, Phil was always by my side to comfort me, and now that he left, he became a second past more painful than the previous one.

hi guys 
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This storie was translated from french to english,
Sorry if there is some mistakes.
:) ;)