All About Your Heart

Ungjae wondered if he'd made a mistake by saying yes to Jeup seven months ago.

He had been happy, they had been happy, until Jeup started ignoring him. Ungjae texted him religiously, asking him where he was, if he had eaten yet, if he was coming home late tonight, but Jeup took forever to reply to them it felt like texting an unused number. It felt like he didn't even have a boyfriend.

When was even the last time they met each other before this? He couldn't remember.

It was one thing on top of another, piling up, unresolved, and exploding in a big boom.

--

Ungjae sat on his bed with his arms crossed. He hadn't slept in two days but he refused to sleep. Not until Park Jeup came home and told him what the hell was going on with the two of them.

He heard the front door opened and steeled himself.

Jeup came into their room, going straight for his bed, but Ungjae stood up and stopped him, positioning himself in front of him.

Jeup looked up to meet his eyes. "What is it?"

"What is it? Are you seriously asking me that? YOU tell me what is it, Hyung."

The older man frowned. "What the hell are you on about, Ungjae?"

All of these were just making him more frustrated and very much angrier, which, when he thought about it later on, wasn't good. "What the hell am I on about? Everything! Can't you act like you care once in a blue moon?!"

If he was confused before, now Jeup's getting angry. "Look, I don't know what your problem is but I need my sleep. Get out of the way."

He tried to move forward but Ungjae stopped him again with a hand on his shoulder. "No. Not until you realize what you did wrong."

Jeup took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "Tell me what I did wrong, then."

God, where should he begin?

"You don't care about me anymore, do you, Hyung? What, are you bored of me now and think you could throw me away just like that?"

"What—"

"God, you're so full of yourself, do you know that? I gave you the benefit of the doubt, thinking probably someday, somehow, I'd get to see you care. But I guess I'm wrong. It's not that you don't care. You are incapable of caring, aren't you? I should've seen it all along. You in your own world, not replying to anyone's texts, doing whatever you want to do—"

"Ungjae, stop it."

"I thought that by giving in, I'd pull the real you out for me to see. But no, I've done everything I could and not a single change."

"I said stop it."

"Why would I stop?! You told me to say what you did wrong! Do you think it's easy for me, Hyung? I kept wondering every day, every second, if any of these have been real! I thought I was lucky to be loved by you, but no, you're just—"

"Don't say it."

"You're just a selfish, uncaring bastard, do you know that?!"

Silence.

For a long while, they stood like that. All they could hear was the clock ticking, and Ungjae's harsh breathing.

Ungjae kept their eye contact for a long, long while. He was so clouded by anger he couldn't see the pain in Jeup's eyes.