Little Secret

Little Secret - 4

xxx

"Would you like to explain, Kim Taeyeon?" Tiffany voice out after a couple minutes of silence.

"I..." Taeyeon stuttered. Maybe he's that stupid and sheepish. He don't have the courage to confess to his best friend after all what happened.

"Tell me since when it started..." Tiffany calmly continue.

Guess she don't like me back. Nice, Taeyeon, nice. He thought when he saw the unreadable eyes Tiffany had at the moment. He sighed out as pain starting to linger on his heart. "I don't know when it started," he said. "Remember Yuri my friend in high school?" He paused, staring at the ground. "When you told me he confessed, I am surprised. I never thought he had feelings for you, at first I laughed it off, right?" He glance at Tiffany for while and saw her pout, still with the unrecognized look Taeyeon had saw first time on woman's eyes. He smiled. "He made me realized I will lose you... And maybe at that time it all started." He breath before continuing. "We grow together, I know it's really wrong to have a crush on someone who treat you like a brother, like real siblings. Don't get me wrong, I also treat you like my sister, and I thought the fondness of having you around will pass, but I was wrong, it grow day by day...by day..." He look up to meet Tiffany gaze and he take all his body control to touch the woman's hand, afraid he'll fear Tiffany again. "I let my feeling go with the flow, promise my self I'll take it to my grave alone. It was all okay until we're in college and you met this rich, famous, and athletic man. You told me you want to try to date him, and me, of course don't have the right to say no, I let you. It was all good, I saw you smile, laugh, everything I saw you at that time is your happy when your talking to him." He snickered nervously but then stopped, as he saw there's no response from Tiffany and he's more than afraid now. He doubted to continue but then he did eventually, "I'll be honest here, I hate how you neglect and forgot me back then," he smiled a little to Tiffany as the latter slumped her shoulder. "Its okay Fany-ah, I'm not the one you needed," he continue reassuring the woman.

"I'm sor--"

"Please let me finish before you react, please?" He pleaded, he had decided he'll get loose with this. If Tiffany will avoid him after this at least he had tried.

Tiffany keep silent. Eyes still unreadable for Taeyeon but he can see the yearning for his continuation.

"I admit, I was stupid back then - maybe up until now?" He laughed a little. Spilling little truth help him to take courage. "When you neglect and forget me I thought I lose it. I lose you. I went to every places I haven't gone before, meeting people, earning friends, drink and party all night... When in the morning when mom and dad thought I'm on school, no, they don't know I'm with my friends back then having fun till we passed out on drunkenness. I also sleep in jail for a couple of times, right?" He smiled knowing how his past had been a hot topic for a while on his debut. "A playboy as they call me," he continued. "My life without you is a mess. Honestly." he frown thinking that idea. "When Dad knew I failed almost all of my grades he had beaten me, and even almost kicked me out of the house." He shake his head towards their house just on the other side of the concrete fence. "But Mom beg for me, given me another chance. That's when the time I woke up back to reality and managed to stand," he smiled proudly to Tiffany this time and relief when he saw the smile Tiffany also had. "With my comeback, I also got you back on that day, at the parking lot, remember?" He paused nervous of what he'll next to say. He gulped, "I'm sorry if I'd confessed like this... I never want to barged in your apartment and harassed you like that..." He gulped. "My boss invited me to drink when Manager slipped and told him I lose my love again, I lose you again," He stare straight to Tiffany's eyes that time with all the love he had for her.

"You lose me?" Tiffany brows furrow.

Taeyeon nodded. "I saw you kissing that Gray outside your apartment," he clenched his jaw, as he hang his head low. Shame of being a loser.