The Diary

Entery N.1

  It was the day before New Year's Eve, and Allison's parents were about to travel to her grandparents' house, and spend the New Year's there.

"You've got plenty of food in the fridge, and you know where the money is in case you need anything," Mary said, then looked at her daughter with a worried expression on her face and added, "Are you sure you don't want to come with us? It's been a while since you've seen your grandparents."

"I'm sure, mom," Allison said with a smile. "I'll be fine by myself - don't worry about me."

"You know that's impossible," her mother said and pulled her in for a hug. "I'm really going to miss you. We'll be back in a week, okay?"

Allison disengaged from the hug. "I know."

"And could you..." her mother started to say, then hesitated. "Could you pack up things in Anna's room while we're away? I know it's a lot to ask..."

"It's fine," Allison said and managed a smile.

"Mary, come on, we have to go if we are to get there by midnight," Allison's father said.

"Your father's calling," Mary said, then added, "There's one more thing I'd like to ask of you..."

"Let me guess," Allison said, "Buster," they said in unison then giggled.

"Please take care of him, okay?" Mary said.

Allison sighed. "I'll try."

"Mary!" her husband called.

"I'll see you in a week. Bye, hon," her mother said, and after Allison wished her a safe trip she headed towards her husband and responded, "I'm coming, I'm coming!"

Allison stood on the front porch and waved as they drove away. The weather was cold and her breath was visible in the air. She watched her parents' car slowly disappear into the distance, before suddenly a small snowflake landed on her nose, and she looked up at the sky to see more falling down. She turned around and walked into the house. It would be her first time spending New Year's Eve alone. It was a tradition of a sort that started when she and Anna were little: they would travel with their family and spend the holidays at their grandparents' place. Since their parents sometimes had to work during Christmas it also meant the grandparents' couldn't always partake in gifts exchange with the whole family, which is why Mary proposed the gift-giving should take place on the morning after the New Year's Day; while Anna and Allison weren't too pleased at first, after their parents explained it was more about spending time with the whole family and sharing happiness with each other, they were mollified and over time it became standard practice. But now that tradition would be over.

She locked the front door then walked into the living room, where she sat down on the couch to watch some TV. After flipping through the channels, she finally settled on the one showing a sitcom that she used to enjoy. Yet... even the shows that she liked to watch weren't as enjoyable anymore. Anna's silly comments, jokes, and conversing with her during the boring parts, that's what made them so fun to watch in the past. But now, those shows only served to make her absence all the more prominent and as strong she tried to be, it hurt. It has been a little over three months since the day Anna lost her life in a car accident, the kind that ensured her body had to be in a closed casket during the funeral. "At least she didn't suffer," some said. Although comments varied from one person to another, they did nothing to alleviate the pain the family felt over their sudden loss. Anna was just 19, and Allison a year older. As hard as it was, Allison tried to be strong and help her parents in any way she could, from calling Anna's friends and the family's relatives to notify them, to those times when her mother needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to listen while she reminisced about Anna. For a while, being busy and constantly around others helped her distract herself from the way she felt, but the first time she was left alone she broke down in tears and cried for hours. It became a little easier as the time passed, yet as she sat there on the couch, she couldn't help but wonder if she should have gone with her parents rather than staying alone at home.

Suddenly, something big and black jumped beside her onto the couch and she squealed in shock; it took her a moment to realize it was just the dog.

"B-Buster!" she exclaimed. "You-you... ugh!" Maybe not so alone after all. With her heart still racing, she watched him lay down then look up at her. She shook her head in disbelief, then returned to watching the TV.

Buster was... Anna's dog. He was about three years old long-haired Labrador Retriever, which Anna got as her birthday present from their grandparents when Buster was a small puppy. Sometimes during the summers the sisters would go and visit their grandparents at their farm, and if there's one thing Anna loved to do there, it was to play with the sheep dogs they owned. Although she wanted a dog since forever - her words - she never had one, and Allison could swear the day Anna got Buster was one of the happiest days of her life. Initially, their grandparents wanted to buy Anna a puppy, but when she found out about it she wouldn't hear of it; so by her request they took her to a dog pound, which is where she found him and adopted him from. According to her Buster was the best dog in the world; loyal, intelligent, and loving, and she did her best to take care of him and train him. She devoted so much time to Buster, that at times Allison felt like she was competing for her attention with that big ball of fluff.

Allison on the other hand didn't like dogs and considered Buster a nuisance. She wouldn't feed him, take him on walks, or do anything for him; until one day Anna sat her down, and talked to her. "You are two of the most important beings in my life, and while I would love it if you were close, I know you don't like him. But it would mean a lot to me if you you would at least try and get along with him, and feed him or take him on a walks when I can't. Please?"

That's all it took, and Allison shyly nodded after which her sister gave her a warm hug. She realized it was silly to behave the way she did towards someone that did nothing to her - well, almost nothing - and since then her dislike turned into what could be considered reluctant tolerance.

She got up off the couch, and headed for the kitchen. "Come on Buster, it's dinner time," she said. It was a phrase he heard enough times in the past to know what it meant, so he got off the couch and followed her to the kitchen. She poured him some of the fish-based dog food into a bowl, and got some leftovers from the lunch for herself, which she ate on the couch while watching the TV. Buster joined her on the couch shortly afterwards, and they spent the next couple of hours in each other's company, before he decided to go elsewhere. As the midnight approached Allison was becoming sleepy, but she stayed up until a message arrived from her parents, letting her knew they arrived safely. After paying a visit to the bathroom she went upstairs, and as she walked into her room she noticed that the black fluffy monster had decided to sleep on her bed. Allison sighed then leaned down, but instead of chasing him off she reached out with her hand and petted his head. She could tell he missed her too. More than a couple of times she found him standing in front of Anna's room, sometimes even scratching the door in effort to get in.

Anna always used to let him sleep on her bed, but since he couldn't get in her room anymore, he started sleeping in front of the door. It was a couple of days later when Allison found him on her bed for the first time, and she chased him off - but she felt bad about it and let him sleep on the floor of her room. However, once she fell asleep, he climbed onto her bed and woke her up; she felt the weight shift, and in the dark all she could see was the black silhouette standing by her feet, its eyes glowing and looking at her, which scared her to the core of her being - until she turned on the bedside lamp and saw it was just Buster. When the same scene transpired the following nights, she begrudgingly decided to let him sleep and avoid the needless fright.

After stripping down to her undies she got under the covers, while Buster laid by her feet. As she laid there staring at the ceiling, her mind drifted to Anna again and she wondered where she was now. While Allison wasn't particularly religious, she believed in the existence of a God of some sort and went to church occasionally with her family. Anna did too, mostly because of their mother. One time when the sisters were alone they had a conversation about it, and Anna told her she didn't believe in those things, God, Heaven, Hell, all of it, and even though Allison understood her skepticism, she couldn't help but wish - and even hope - that there was something more beyond their understanding, and the physical existence they once shared. It would have been a sad thing to imagine that someone like Anna was gone for good, permanently erased from existence. There were times though when she felt like Anna was still there, somewhere, watching her, and until the day came when she herself would find out, she was determined not to give up hope that something like that was indeed possible.

"Good night, Buster," Allison said, and he looked at her before they went to sleep.

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