Among the stars

Pilot

There's no way to describe Augustus Waters his beauty. His smile. His touch. His jokes. His kiss. My love for him strikes through my heart and further. I'll stay by his side, as long as my life may last. Amsterdam, was wonderful. We had an amazing time, forgetting the circumstances. Back home, life continues. Hospital visits, nights looking at the stars with Gus, hanging around with Isaac.

Isaac and Monica are back to each other. Their always remains. I hope ours will as well. 

I never believed in complete happy stories. Neither did Gus. Without the bad days there wouldn't be good ones. My cancer was controllable. My lungs were magically improving. They thought they would never recover, but they were. They were recovering. My lungs stopped filling themselves up with fluid. I guess they were doing a better job at being lungs. Gus his other, good leg, was getting worse. He sometimes fell, out of the blue. He refused to visit the hospital. 'Just a cramp' he'd say. Life past on, I was getting better, Gus was getting worse. One day, he fell from the top of the stairs, all the way down. I wasn't there, he lied there for a couple of hours, motionless. When they found him he was unconscious. They took him to the hospital were they did all kind of tests. It turned out; he was suffering of Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis is a neurodegenerative disease with various causes. It is characterized by muscle spasticity, rapidly progressive weakness due to muscle atrophy, difficulty in speaking, swallowing and breathing. The doctors didn't give him long. I cried, right there, in the hospital. It wasn't fair. He overcame cancer, that was enough. I always thought, that I was the one passing in an early stage. I thought that Gus was the one who'd live longer. They aren't certain how long he has, full functioning. There are multiple stages, by each stage he'll loose the ability to control a part of his body. His legs are first, he's able to walk, not for long. He had to stay in the hospital, so that they could run test. Gus made a joke of it; 'I'll be the new Stephen Hawking, I'll be smart'. I couldn't laugh about it. It was sad. He didn't deserved this. It was hard to go home that night. I didn't want to leave him, but I had to. The nurses didn't allow me to stay. I prayed. I prayed for him. I prayed that he would get better. 

Deep down, I knew he wouldn't. I couldn't bare the thought of losing him. 

Not yet. Not like this.