FOUR
I laid a bunch of white lilies in your graveyard. Families and friends have departed. Sitting next to you was me, mom and Ellie - our dog.
Ellie misses you so much Tim. She doesn't want to take a bath, maybe she was used to you taking her to shower. And sometimes, in the middle of the night she would snuggle up in blankets with me. She felt your absence Tim. She felt my loss.
"Prim, let's go. It's getting dark." Mom broke my trance.
"No, I can't leave Tim." I came back straight off.
She sighed heavily as she blinked the tears that threatened her tired eyes. "Honey let us go. Please."
"You can go mom." I dimissed her invitation.
Hurling her arms into mine, her voice was firm and authoritative than ever. "Help yourself Primrose. Tim won't be happy seeing you this way."
The familiar ache in my throat arises, tickling the tears at the back of my head.
"Why mom? Why did he leave?"
That question haunts me every night. Did she really know why?
"It was an accident Prim." She spoke slowly. Her tone came back to normal.
"But we made a promise mom, we will never let go." It took me a great courage to utter those words.
"You need to understand Prim. It was his time. Everybody has their own time, it only happened that Tim left early as expected."
But it was an accident. "Why would it have to be him?" I said between ragged breaths. "Why not the people in the car he collided with? I'm pretty sure someone in there is just a drunken asshole." Yeah, I sounded desperately rude and selfish.
You can't blame me. Being nice wasn't on the top of my list. Not anytime soon.
"Stop it Prim!" She yelled. "Don't be so stupid! Open your mind, everything happens for a reason."
What could be the possible rational reason for this?
"You don't understand and you will never understand because it's not you who lost someone. It's me." I can't believe I was putting up an argument with my mother.
She shoot me a heartbreaking glare, "No Prim, it's not only you who's grieving. I lost a daughter too. Look at you, you're still alive but you're no longer with us. You're somewhere near death."
I looked down. Her words were knives plunging into every single fiber of me. Stabbing me into my hardest point of misery.
"You know what Primrose? She paused momentarily and continued, "There were things in life that can't stay no matter how much you wanted them to last."
I looked at her as she adjusted herself, "Why did they come if they were not bound to stay?"
"To teach you things." She stood up and drifted away, leaving me in the gloomy graveyard - alone and distressed.
