Thinking Out Loud » Colleen and Erik

He who murders flies

There's this funny thing that happens when you start to fall in love. Your heart seems to beat out of your chest, almost as if to chase after her. You get nervous every time you are around her. You hang on to her every word, hoping to catch some sort of a hint. You even catch yourself staring at her all the time. She's the most beautiful when she's strumming her ukulele or typing an email, unaware of the world around her. You find solace in these moments. You are content to spend the rest of your life watching her. 

In these moments, you let your brain wander. You think of what your life would be like if you hadn't met her. You wonder who would notice how beautiful she is. You wonder if anyone else sees how she nervously chews on her bottom lip when she sends an important message. You wonder if anyone else notices how she only strums her ukulele with her top three fingers. Your brain wanders and you let it. 

Sometimes, in the dark of night, in the secrecy of your thoughts, you think about your future with her. How would you propose? You imagine proposing on the beach. She loves the beach.

There are other things she loves too. She loves cookies, and so you make them for her. She loves foot rubs, and you happily oblige. She loves walks in the afternoon and anything related to  "Haters Back off!" She loves to sing, and you love to watch her. 

There are also things she hates. You notice the big things, like apple stickers and cracked seats and people who talk too loud. You take all of the apple stickers off her fruit. You aren't sure she notices, but you love her anyways. You also notice the small things. She hates it when you crack your knuckles and she hates annoying people who complain too much. But most of all, you know that Colleen Ballinger hates bugs. 

Erik presses his cool palm against his flushed forehead, pushing his matted brown hair to the side of his forehead. The sweat on his upper lip forms small beads, threatening to spill over onto his cheeks. His grey, cotton t-shirt is stuck to his back, patches of darker grey appearing down his lower back and abdomen. His eyes flicker back and forth. His brows furrow in concentration, narrowing as he closes in on his target. He slowly backs up, being careful not to make a single sound. Reaching behind without looking, he closes his fingers around the object and raises it high above his head. 

With a sickening thud, he brings the fly swatter down above his head and onto the windowsill. Colleen screams and he smirks, wiping the remnants of the fly off the window. He looks up at her, proud of his accomplishment. 

"Eww...." Erik grimaces, holding up the paper towel, "look, fly intestines!"

"Erik!" Colleen screeches, turning back to her camera to protest, "that's disgusting!"

Erik just smirks as he wipes the rest of the dead fly off the window and heads over to the trash can. He can hear Colleen walking out of the room, talking to her camera. She's recounting the "huge" fly that he'd just "murdered." He knows she is overreacting, and he thinks it is cute. He washes his hands and heads over to the couch. He scrolls through twitter for a few seconds chuckling at a few tweets, before he feels someone sit beside him. 

"Thank you, Erik"

Colleen rubs Erik's forearm gently. He feels his stomach leap, and warmth spreads across his entire lower arm. She doesn't remove her hand from his arm, and Erik's mind is spinning circles. 

"You're thanking me for murdering that fly?" Erik smirks.

Exhausted from a long day and a terrifying ordeal with the fly, she simply nods, leaning her head against the back of the sofa and smiling at Erik. With the burst of confidence he gained from killing the fly for her, he shifts over on the couch and guides her head against his shoulder with his hand. She gives in easily, her head resting on his shoulder. He can smell the strawberry-and-coconut shampoo that makes him fall even more in love with her. He smiles down at her. Her breathing slowly evens out, and she's drifted off before she can finish the sentence. 

"I'll always murder flies for you," Erik whispers to a sleeping Colleen. He grimaces, realizing it sounded a lot creepier than he intended. He hopes she's not awake to hear it. 

There's this funny thing that happens when you start to fall in love. You catch yourself staring at her all the time. When she lays her head against your shoulder and falls asleep, you can do nothing but watch her and let your overwhelming feelings of love consume you. You wish you could hold her hand or cuddle her, but for now, you will wait. You will lay your head against hers and you will fall asleep, happy.