Thinking Out Loud » Colleen and Erik

Stocklin's soliloquy

When you fall in love with your best friend, you'll do anything for her. She will be sick sometimes and you will drop everything to spend an entire week by her side. You will play countless rounds of Uno, you will make dozens of bowls of Gwen's famous chicken-noodle soup and you will refill her humidifier so she doesn't cough. You will do all of this because you love her, of course. You will never tell her that you love her because she'll just laugh at you, so instead, you will dedicate your entire life to making her happy.

"Erik?" Colleen will break you out of your reverie suddenly with a question. She is sprawled across the bed looking up at you, her best friend, with her head resting on her elbows. Her hair is cascading down her shoulders pooling in dark brown reservoirs around her on the bed. Her nose is still red and raw from her adventures with the flu this week. She is still wearing sweatpants and one of Kory's old sweatshirts, another sign that she's been sick. While you are preoccupied with how gorgeous she manages to look even getting over the flu, she will call your name again.

"Stocklin!" She will laugh at you and smack you on the shoulder. It will sting a little bit, but you don't care. She could ask you to amputate your own arm and you'd do it in a second. You'd do anything for your best friend.

"Sorry..." You will murmur. You were too distracted by her beauty, her presence, the thought of growing old with her. You were too distracted by how beautiful she looks even when she thinks she looks ugly. She is so gorgeous in sweatpants and you want to tell her.

"I asked you a question! Are you feeling okay?" She will press her sticky hands to your forehead and you will squeal at her touch and shrug it off. The two of you will laugh and you will make a joke about your attention span. You instantly will question the noise you made. Why did you squeal? Was it too feminine?

"I asked if you believe in soulmates?" Colleen interrupts your train of thought, "Like....that your true love is waiting for you somewhere in the world right now?"

Your heart will start to drum, thumping like a racehorse or dog that heard thunder. You will feel dizzy as if your whole world is spinning around you and you are rooted to your spot on the bed. You wish you could pour your heart out to your best friend and confess that you do believe in soulmates. You do believe your true love is out there. You know that your soulmate is sitting right in front of you on the bed.

"Um... dunno," You will shrug, attempting to look nonchalant. Your heart is beating a thousand times a second and you can hardly muster the effort to look up from shuffling the Uno cards for your twenty-third game of the morning, "Why?"

When you finally calm down enough to casually look up from the cards, she is gazing at you with a questioning look.

"I don't know, I was just thinking about it this morning" Colleen will admit.

Pensively, she will watch you bend the cards backward with your slender fingers. They will form a rainbow, falling down on top of each other in. You will remain silent for a few minutes, just watching the cards.

"Erik?" Colleen will ask you again, this time a little more timidly.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think someone could already have met their soulmate and not know that person is their soulmate yet?"

"I don't know, maybe" you will say simply, dealing nine cards to Colleen and then yourself. You'll make a pointed effort to not look up at Colleen but instead keep your eyes focused on your task. If you look up at her, you might scream or cry or kiss her. Whatever happens, it's a really bad idea to look up.

"Can we take a break before we play again?" She will say, reaching her hand out and placing it on top of yours to stop your fervent motions with the cards "I'm hungry"

You will nod and watch her begin to scroll through food delivery options on her phone. She will pause over a photo of french fries and grin. She will ask you what you want from In-N-Out and you will mumble something about a cheeseburger. You can't stop thinking about soulmates long enough to focus on the food.

Colleen will announce that she's going to ask Kory what he wants and she'll begin to saunter out of the room.

"Wait" you'll call after her. She'll turn around and it'll take everything in you not to say Wait, I love you. You're my soulmate. You're my ride and die, I'd do anything for you. You're perfect. I know you're my best friend but I love you. Come back here so I can tell you how much I love you. Forget the cheeseburger.

Deciding to hold your tongue, you add "can we get waffle fries too?"

"Only if we share" She'll laugh and leave in search of her cheeseburger.

AN: oof I'm really sorry for just casually never updating this story. I broke two fingers a month ago, so typing is a complicated process at the moment. I promise I'll update soon. The next chapter finally has a kiss :)