Life as I Know it.

Angel in the Water

Today marks 2 years since i "died"

sometimes i wake up wishing i really did. So much regret. So much heartache.

Feeling the strong winds engulf me, and the cold mist soak my face. Being thrown off my boat and knocked unconscious, and somehow waking up on shore 2 towns away from Miami.

Its like i had an angel.

But right now im in my 1 room house. (basically a shack) staring out the window over again at the tall evergreen trees and the grey misty sky. Watching the birds fly by everyday.

I can't help but think about my son, Harrison. i hope he'll forgive me one day.

i wonder how he's doing, if he has lots of friends, if he still plays soccer, how he's doing academically, if he's a loner.  Like me.

My daze was cut short when i heard loud knocks on my door.

"C'mon man! You're late every day!"

i sat there for a moment longer still looking out at the gloomyness, as i felt a tear roll down my cheek.

"Yea, im coming!" i said trying to sound like nothing was wrong

I wiped my eyes with my sleeves, stood up and made my way quickly through the house to find a few more things. i opened the door and felt a rush of cold, dry air.

"Hey! you alright?"

"Yes im alright." i said "its a little colder than i expected"

They talk about the same things everyday. Work, the wife, how their dinner was, just pointless things. I've learned to block them out by now.

They feel like they should help me get back into shape and trying to not let ne feel lonely. I stopped working about 6 months ago. I "accidentally" got hurt on the job. Workers compensation is awesome. Also, it was.a good idea i kept that duffle bag full of money in Miami for emergencies. (my apartment had some damage from the storm, and the area evacuated, so no one wouldve  known that i passed through.)

One thing that isn't different from my past, is that people still seem to gravitate towards me. I don't know why, but i do know that id still rather be alone.