Sunshine & Whiskey « Ryan Blaney »

« Chapter Four »

All too soon, my perfect bubble popped.

Bubba pulled up to at least two more boats jammed packed with faces I didn't recognize. Lingering in the background I did see Ricky, who no doubt was hiding because of his causation of the wreckfest last night at Daytona, and then there was Kyle Larson and Daniel Hemric, just chilling and no doubt talking about racing.

It wasn't them that popped my bubble, it was the the sheer fact that I was officially the biggest person here. I tried to not see that, but that fact was screaming at me.

I got up from Ryan's lap the moment we stopped and went to get drink. I opted for a shot of whiskey, hoping the burn of alcohol going down my throat will help me ignore the fact that every girl here was beyond perfect and no matter how much work I put into my life of working towards a better, healthier me, I'm not going to look like that.

"Stop it." Lisa stood in front of me, hands on her waist and glaring. "I know what you're doing, and you need to stop." I avoided her death stare and took another shot of whiskey. "Ryan is watching you, you know." That caught my attention and she smiled like she won. I couldn't help but look back to where Ryan was still sitting where I left him, now accompanied by Bubba. Ryan kept looking my way and smiling. I knew they were talking about me, but for some odd reason, it didn't bother me.

"I'm nothing like those other girls. Just look at them, they're already making their way over to where Ryan is."
"And look at Ryan, not giving a shit." I sighed, dropping the whiskey back into the cooler and grabbed two beers, one for myself and one for my ego that got deflated. "If he was looking to talk to some chick who you deem as 'perfect'," she rolled her eyes at that word, "then he would have already, but he hasn't. Maddie! He freaking kissed you! You cannot throw that away because your mind is telling you lies!" I sighed, knowing Lisa was right.

I seriously hate my insecurities and how just the smallest thing could ruin everything for me.

"Take a deep breath, Maddie, and relax your shoulders." I did as she was told and I felt so much better.

"I really need to stop doing that." I said, admitting that she was right and stuff like this is something I need to deal with, but not today. Today, I'm going to live in the now and if a curly hair boy with amazing blue eyes is willing to give me a chance, then I'm going to take it. "You're too good to me, Lisa. Thanks. I really needed that."

She gave me a hug and whispered in my ear, "don't let fear win."

"I hope one of those are for me?" I pulled away from Lisa, who smacked me on the ass when Ryan so sweetly looked at me and down to a beer.

"I suppose I could spare one," I held it out for him to take and he just smiled at me.

"I, um, was wondering if you wanted to join me in the water?" I looked at Ryan with disbelief that he was suddenly nervous. He took of his hat and ran his fingers through his hair and bit his lip, waiting for my response. "Or, we could chill on the boat?" he offered instead. Out of all the girls here, he still wants to hang with me. I want to question this, like a kiss from him wasn't a sure sign he liked me, but the smile on his face told me he really wanted to chill. "Or were you going to be with Lisa? I'm sorry, I just thought." I touched Ryan's arm as he started to fidget with his hat again.

"The water sounds perfect." My heart fluttered out of my chest at the smile he gave me. I felt like we were all alone with how he made me feel. It was just us two standing here on Bubba's boat and I cursed myself inwardly from having an insecure moment when this man in front me looks at me with stars in his eyes.

"Let me steal one of those floats from Stenhouse," Ryan nodded to a giant floating mat that was floating away from where the boats were anchored. "Hold my my beer, miss." He said in a funny English accent as he dove off the boat to retrieve the float.