reputation | one tree hill

six

"i've been sleeping with nathan," jordan told her friend, the revelation acting as a brief catharsis. months of guilt felt slightly less heavy, and she prepared herself to deal with the consequences. "and i'm so sorry."

peyton took a deep breath, her face showing little emotion. if she was angry, she hid it well, and jordan felt tense as she waiting for the blond to react. "for how long?"

"on and off since summer."

"why tell me now?" she asked, and the nature of the questions were confusing jordan, who had expected tears, yelling and possibly a bitch slap.

"i've been feeling really guilty about it," jordan admitted. "and i'm sick of being a shitty person. i guess this is the first step in trying to change."

peyton looked completely unsympathetic towards jordan wanting to change. the blond looked at her friend with a relaxed face, yet anger was present in her eyes. "you know what? it's fine, jordan," she responded, but jordan knew from her tone that it definitely wasn't fine. "it's certainly no surprise."

"what's that supposed to mean?"

"you know what it means, jordan," peyton stated plainly, visibly hurt by jordan's confession, and she left the room without another word, slamming the door as hard as she could.

jordan made no attempt to follow her friend. she simply didn't see the point. she sat on the bed and continued to cry, devastated by the hurt she'd cause that night. her chest was heavy as she sobbed into her hands, smearing eye makeup down her cheeks.

lucas' words replayed in her head as she cried, mainly because she knew he was right. she hated herself for falling for nathan's games, and she made a vow to herself in that moment that it wasn't going to happen again.

as she started to compose herself and touch up her makeup, nathan walked into the room. he looked at jordan with confusion and concern, and jordan realised peyton hadn't broke up with him yet. "hey, what's wrong?"

"i told peyton," she admitted with a sigh, and nathan frowned. "i'm sorry, i couldn't keep it in any longer."

"it's fine," he replied, surprising jordan, and he gave her a small smile. "you want me to take you home?" he offered, and jordan hesitated before replying, wanting to distance herself from him.

ultimately, however, she gave him a weak nod, wanting to get as far from the party and that night as she could. she gave him a grateful smile as they left the room together.

;

nathan's decision to borrow peyton's car wasn't one jordan agreed with. however, after nathan assured her that peyton had already went home, she just shrugged and got into the passenger seat. nathan was lying, of course, but jordan didn't find out until the next day.

the conversation was stale and one sided. jordan didn't trust herself around nathan, and decided silence was her best move. nathan, on the other hand, was acting as if nothing had happened.

"what did peyton say when you told her?"

"she said she wasn't surprised," jordan responded, causing nathan to laugh, and jordan looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. "what's so funny?"

"she has a point," he chuckled, and again jordan was confused. "i mean, she probably seen the way i looked at you, you know? 'cause i do, all the time. i miss you, jordan."

"we're together constantly, nate."

"no, i mean i miss me and you," he continued, and jordan shifted awkwardly at what he was saying. "i've tried to ignore it and move on, but it's always gonna be there, isn't it?"