Inferno 🔥

19. Tu

19.0

I T was morning. Laila could tell from the streaky rays of sunlight that burned through heavy curtains and invaded her closed eyelids. She inhaled to yawn but stopped as she felt the tightening in her chest. It resurrected the memory of her panic attack last night, and the dream that caused it. It'd completely infiltrated her mind, bleeding from past memories into something horrific that'd always been lurking at the back of her mind. A growing, festering sickness that she tried so hard to repress and hide from the light of day, only to fight it in the darkness of her dreams.

She curled into herself, pressing her palms against her closed eyelids. An irrational fear welled in her stomach, a fear for Aïdan. If she'd died last night, he would've never forgiven himself. He would've clung to her death like he clung to his mom's and Melanie's. It would've hung over him like a cloud, low and heavy, suffocating him until he drowned himself in bitter resentment. She was so scared of how her presence and eventual demise would derail a train which was already on shaky tracks.

She clutched her cheeks as there was a shift in the bed. Warmth radiated from behind her, a forearm wrapped around her waist, and she was pulled into a wall of bare muscle. Aïdan exhaled slowly against the back of her neck before kissing her shoulder.

"You worry me, ma petite flamme," he murmured sleepily against her skin.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't apologize, you can't help it Lai."

She pulled his arm tighter around her as she melted into him. "Thank you for helping me get a hold of myself."

He offered a noncommittal moan. There was a lapse of silence before he spoke again."What happened last night, Lai?"

She squeezed her eyes shut and curled into him. "Nothing," came her small reply. His arm retracted, the mattress dipping as he hovered over her before resting on his side so that they faced each other. He placed his big hand over hers as he pressed their foreheads together.

"You almost died Lai," he whispered against her lips. "Please tell me." When she gazed up at him with those big, brown eyes Aïdan's heart trembled. Suddenly she looked away and clenched her fists. He kissed her forehead as she buried her face into his chest. "How long have you been dealing with depression, Lai?"

Her body tensed in his arms. He could feel her breath against his skin as she sighed. "How do you know?"

"My mom had that same look in her eyes. Please, talk to me Lai. I don't want to lose you too."

God how much she wanted to give in to the heaviness in her heart and tell him the details of her past, but she couldn't bring herself to speak. Saying those things, digging up those thoughts, would just refresh the memories she tried so hard to bury. Just thinking about the years she spent stumbling through the halls of the orphanage, a lost child searching desperately for affection only to face the darkness of humanity. She wouldn't. She couldn't.

Gazing up at him she held his face in her hands. He was so beautiful. A weathered statue, with cracks and chips that made the masterpiece even more entrancing. She ran over his thick brows with her thumbs, tracing the raised scar that arched to his chin like a crescent moon before sweeping up across his lips as she tilted her head up. The Inferno in his eyes, the flames of fear, sparks of frustration, and flickers of worry made her stop in her tracks.

She was using him. She used him as a scapegoat as to why her life went to shit with one-sided accusations, she used him to chase away her nightmares with his calming embrace, she used him to soothe her pain and anguish with his scorching lips and wicked tongue. All while she'd been trying to convince herself that he was the enemy.