A few weeks back, I was just a normal girl with a lot of dreams to my family and ministry. and I was just imagining, what if someone would propose to me? How do I respond to the situation? Will I be excited? Is this even real, or am I dreaming? and here it is. My fantasy came to life.
We all come across this "person" at least once in our life time. If someone thinks that this "person" is the one he/she need in his life, they are in constant search for this people who would he/she be specially treated by this people saying a lot of words affirming their affection to each other
This situation is very common. People are always talking about finding someone for them. They tend to meet and experiment with wrong people again and again. Most of the time, they are already in danger and they don't know it. After recovering from previous pain, people search again with this cycle claiming they meet "The One"
If you think you can't be involved in these kind of situation, think again. You yourself unknowingly, might be in need of that relationship constantly. You tend to meet people from people looking for this affection that will make you happy
Then I realize, am I ready for this? I need to re-evaluate myself and the way I think. Someone asked me a few days ago the same question: AMIE, are you ready for this?. I didn't answer her directly, instead I just said "I'm preparing to be ready". I appreciate it when she responded me with "As you wait for the right guy, be the right girl"
Issue #1 : You don't want to deal with the current issues with your life
Everyone has a problem. No one can deny that. They will never go away unless you deal with them. I have still issues to be dealt. For me, If you can't handle other issues in your life, you are not ready yet. You can't run from your problems by burying your head like an ostrich to the ground avoiding all standards saying you ain't ready for a relationship.
Issue #2 : You are willing to change everything about yourself for the other person
The is nothing wrong with self improvement. It is highly recommended that relationship helps each other to grow to be better in all aspect. But if you are thinking of giving up your identity for the sake of the other person, there's an issue right there. You can't like the way he likes his likes. Every person is different. We have different likes and dislikes. You can't fool yourself. Maybe there's some similarities but in a relationship, you would find bothering if you would change everything about yourself to. You would lose freedom, identity and what's worse your life. You just can't follow everything the other person wants you to be. You have to be You
Issue #3 : You are in constant search of "The one"
You are paranoid of searching. You go into this dating sites, meeting people you don't know, constantly telling your friends how you want to be badly with your crush, and other crazy things to meet "The one". Wake up! You are already missing something. Life is not about finding the "right person" but its becoming the "right person". You will not find True Love. Why, because is has already found you. Love of God, parents, friends, colleagues and acquaintances and many more. You want to find more than Love that what's already on to you. Besides there's many things to do: Read, Play and have fun in your life.
Issue #4 : You will be saved from the <insert problem/issues here>
You want to help for your problems ignoring the fact that every one has problems. Problems are meant to be solved, not to be passed. Sometimes, we think that getting into a relationship will help us on what is going on in our lives. But the truth is, we need to handle our own problems, fight our own battles and overcome our own obstacles. It is not bad to ask for some help, but why go into another journey in your lives when you can have answers from other peoples in your life. You need to become mature so that you can be an asset to your partner, not a liability
Issue #5 : You want to help him
Getting into a relationship would not helped in either. He has his own problems, and if he wants to solve it, he will solve it, even without you. You can be an inspiration to the guy but relationship is not about inspiration. IT'S ABOUT COMMITMENT. You are not just going into someone's life and fix everything and everybody is happy. You will be just unhappy and will end in resentment on both sides. You're value on your partner should not based on what you can give to your partner but rather what he/she can do for you.
Issue #6 : You have trust issues
Maybe your past is not good enough to trust people. Your parents, previous relationships and friends makes you don't trust anyone. You are becoming obsessed on what your partner is doing. You do stalking, reading diaries and chats, and accessing private information just to check on things. No matter what excuse you do, you are not ready and you need help
Issue #7 : You are meeting people You know that is bad for you
You don't want to be treated badly, just like everyone else. If you still choice to be on it, it will end up badly. Friends and families will not dislike him for a lame excuse. Maybe, he is already not treating you well, don't respect you and worst of all, was that rude to you. Even if he says something nice to you and says something bad to the waiter, he is not a nice person. Don't settle for people that will play on you, calls you bad names or even disregarding your efforts like throwing engagement ring on the trash just because she didn't like it. I tell you, you deserve something better. If still you want to pursue, you already need counselling
Issue #8 : You get in a relationship to be happy
This is a big no. Getting into a relationship is not about that fuzzy feeling when you exchange ILY to each other. You have the wrong mindset. You can always be be happy with other things. It doesn't have to be romantic, sexual or other kind of relationship. You may be more inspired or maybe you are trying to overcome depression and nightmares, but relationship is not into that. Go to the right person. Ask for the right solution and not finding on one we thought would solved it.
Issue #9 : I want to get in a relationship so bad
You may ask to your self, why am I going into a relationship? Am I just lonely, tired of being alone? Maybe there's a peer pressure that all of your friend are now in a relationship, you just aren't yet. Being desperate will do nothing good to you. In fact, it will open opportunities for the bad people. Your friends are not that good in relationships as you percept. Still being desperate is not attractive to either gender.
Issue # 10 : I will just find "The one", settle down, get married and have kids
You forget about your parents, who raised you from childhood. You forget your friends, who were with you it ups and downs. It is not bad to settle down and have a family, but you know you have some obligations to the people around you before you settle down. What about your career plans and your dreams. Do you have backup plans in your life? Remember, your world doesn't revolve on the man you will met. You are the one who is controlling your life. You can first save, treat your family and friends, get a Master's degree, and have a life before going into relationships.
♥♥♥AMIE♥♥♥
