The Remarried

Chapter seven

In the end, I agree on trying to shoot the gun. As much as it's frightening for me, it's also exciting. Everything that I am not supposed to do is exciting.

Saul doesn't give me his own gun, instead, I get a spare one. I wonder how many guns there are in the house. I suppose they are locked in the safe in Senator Wintercourt's study room.

We are in the middle of the garden, hidden behind the topiaries. Still, I am sure that the neighbors would not be delighted if we practiced shooting there.

"Do you think that it's wise to shoot a gun here?" I ask.

"We're not going to shoot it today," Saul smiles. "You have to learn to handle it first."

"All right, so what's lesson one?" I ask.

Saul looks at me skeptically. "Lesson one, don't aim at me, please."

I laugh and lower the gun so that I can kill nothing but grass. "Sorry."

"Fine," Saul says, obviously relieved. "What do you do if you want to shoot a gun?"

"Um... aim and pull the trigger?"

"And what about the safety catch?" he smirks.

"Ouch," I giggle. "I guess I'm dead."

"In combat, without a doubt," he nods. "Not now, because, luckily, you have me. Repeat after me."

I watch him release the safety catch on his gun, and I try to copy the movements. It's foreign and new, but strangely thrilling. Even more thrilling when I think beyond the mere idea of shooting a gun. If I shot him now and claimed it was an accident, could I get away with it? But then, I remember that I couldn't shoot him. I couldn't shoot anyone.

"Good. Now we'll put the safety catch back."

I repeat the movements after him and then I look at him apprehensively.

"Now on your own."

"All right," I say and try to release the safety catch. I'm clumsier than I expected.

"It should be faster if you want to survive," Saul smiles.

"I know, I just..."

"You're aiming at me again."

"Sorry."

"Try it once again."

We didn't have guns at home. Edmond probably didn't even know how to shoot. He wasn't a soldier, and only soldiers and the police could carry guns. Some people own them, like Senator Wintercourt, but those are only to give them the feeling of safety.

Now I wonder, if we did have a gun at home, if I would have used it that night... It would be foolish to try to shoot our way out, but maybe I would have felt better, the couple of minutes before they'd kill me. Maybe I would have felt like I put up a fight, like I didn't play by their rules.

Because although I am set out for revenge, this still feels too much like playing by their rules, and I don't know how to break them.

***

Sometimes both Saul and his father leave the house before the rest of us even wake up. Such mornings are usually a fair warning that the whole day will be miserable, as it means having breakfast only with my mother-in-law, and that never ends well.

Today is one such day. When I walk down the stairs and enter the dining room, Mrs. Wintercourt lifts her eyes from the newspaper she is reading and scans my clothes quickly. "Don't you think that this fashion style is inappropriate for someone your age?" she asks.