Broken Home

Here goes nothing

Today, I saw Kay. We hung out at a park near our houses and then we went to his house and hung out with his mom, Ally for a while. She went across the street to go swimming and we went to his room and we're cuddling.. things escalated and we had sex... I don't regret it and I don't think I ever will. It was super anxiety filled at first but that feeling went away after a few minutes. After that we relax for a bit and then went swimming at his grandmas across the street. It was super fun. I had to wear his clothes bc I didn't bring a bathing suit haha we went back to his house after a bit and decided to tell his mom that we are in a relationship.. she has known for a while that I was in love with him but I didn't know he felt the same way. When we told her she was super chill about it and said that she was hoping it would happen bc she thinks we're cute together. Which made me smile like CRAZY! I went home and I was scared that his feelings for me would change.. I've had guys leave me after sex bc it turned out that all they wanted was my body. But nothing changed for him. He said he felt even stronger for me. We stayed on FaceTime all night and let me tell u, this kid does NOT sleep. Like at all. But tonight he actually slept and I was so happy. It took him a while tho. It was around 3am when he finally feel asleep.. and a bit after was when I heard my mom and step dad yelling... My mom has been depressed and unhappy in her relationship for a while but every time she tries to talk to him about it he just gives her the silent treatment. She wants to leave but bc if my brother and bc they've been together for 12 years she doesn't want to leave. But she's hurting like crazy and I just wish I could help her.. Once I turn 18 and I graduate I plan on moving out. I live 5 hours from my dad and I want to go back towards his area or maybe in the middle of my mom and my dad. Be 2 and a half hours from each of them. Last Friday my mom and I went to a bar/ grill around here and a lot happened... she ended up cheating on her husband and it just got kinda bad. But tbh, I'm very very against cheating but I didn't mind bc he's a great guy. We'll call him Kye. And I know how unhappy my mom is. So I jut let it slide. But things with my step dad and my mom just keep getting worse and one day I know I am going to a snap and say something to him. Like, that's my mom man. I can't let her continue to hurt and cater to him when he doesn't give a single fuck. I hate him. I really do. Ronny is an asshole and I hope she leaves him bc she deserves better.. it's currently 6:48am and I still haven't slept yet. I've been so stressed that my sleep schedule is just completely fucked. But anyway, tmrw I'm going to see Kay again and I can not wait. He honestly makes life so much easier for me and takes all of my stress and pain away. He makes me the happiest I've ever been. When people say that dating your best friend is the best thing ever, they are so right. Bc I'm experiencing it for the first time and I never want to lose him and I know he feels the same way. After hanging with him I have to go to work. Yayyy🙄 (note the sarcasm) but I make super good tips and not too bad of an actual pay for only being 17. But that's enough for tonight. I'll give u another update tmrw night!!! Goodnight guys!
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Comment if u have any advise or comments towards anything. Be honest. I could really use it! Thank you guys so much. Writing is a huge outlet for me and I feel like having u guys to help me thru it will help so much!! 💜