Can't Look Back

Chapter 4

5 days later

The past few days had been a whirlwind of commotion. Many people had stopped by the Bates quaint home, offering condolences. A handful of people brought food so Kat had been able to tak the first day off to keep a watch on her sister who surprisingly had not cried since the first night. As promised Kat had woken up extra early and given Nightingale some special treatment. The everyday routine transported her back to when she lost her father and she had spent the same night he died outside in the stall with Night. It had been even more difficult knowing that she was now an orphan. Elizabeth would be married soon, even if she had not reached out to the Avery family, several suitors from the past few months stopped by in hopes of being a shoulder she could cry on. Meanwhile Kat had had no suitors since she had turned of age 2 years prior. The likelihood of her settling down had been slim nonetheless, she wasn't one to depend on someone else to earn her livelihood whilst she stayed home to be a breeding, cleaning, and cooking machine. She would much prefer hard work to being viewed as weak and incapable of survival. So Kat came to realize she was truly on her own after her sister married Phillip.

Finally the mirad of people had ended and Liz felt able to breath again. It had been overwhelming having so many people grab her hands, hug her, and talk of "memories" they had with both of her parents. She was apprehensive about using the word memories, because half of the people that walked through her front door were unfamiliar faces and unknown names. Where had all of these people been when mother had been unmotivated to leave the house, unable to leave her room, then incapable of moving from her bed as coughs wrecked her lungs? Where had these people been when her younger sister had been sneered at for working in fields, for being seen in town after sneaking out in the middle of the night, for begging in the snow for leftover bread? Where had these people with so many "precious memories" of her folks been when the sisters had to give up and sell all luxuries their parents had gifted them and the household while they were growing up? To Liz it appeared that no one cared about her family until half of them were dead.

She shook her head and pulled herself from her thoughts. She sat in the grass in front of Nightingales stall and watched as a robin pulled worm from the dirt the worm split in two, and never had Liz felt compassion for a worm, for she felt split in two knowing that she had to give her heart to Philip when she was unable to love him in the same way he loved her. She thought about Jonathon, the tavern keeper's' son. She had been courted by him most recently and truly felt her stomach give way to butterflies whenever he was around, however, he was as stubborn as a mule and looked down on Kat for doing men's' work. She could not put her sister in that uncomfortable situation after all that she had done for her. Part of her would be left here in Eastgate with Jonathon while a larger part would migrate to Philip with Kat if he accepted her proposal.

As if he could be summoned by thought alone Liz saw a familiar head of blonde hair sat on a brown horse pulling a cart. A smile instantly lit her face, the first true smile in over 5 days. Liz jumped up, scaring away the robin with it's half worm, and picked up her skirts before running to meet her dearest friend.

"Oh Philip, you came, and so quickly too!" Liz remarked as Philip came to a stop and slid off of his horse. She took a second to take him in. His blonde hair brushed just past his earlobes, it had grown in the month away. His lean figure seemed to have just a bit more bulk to it compared to what she remembered. When she reached his face, his crooked smile shone under a parade of freckles, his sapphire blue eyes shone with delight. "Oh Phil!" Liz cried out, overcome with emotion for the man who knew her mother, her father, who shared so many memories with her and her family. Her eyes closed right as he pulled her into him by her waist.

"Elizabeth, you look terrible." He tutted her, receiving a choked laugh. Her body shook against him in a combination of laughs and sobs. "I'm here now. Everything will work out as it should. Come now Liz, she wouldn't want you to cry over her like this." He hugged her tight and kissed the top of her head that only reached his chin. Liz didn't often show emotion, Philip worried that she was suffering more than he could know. 'Well of course she is' he thought to himself feeling foolish to be surprised that she was crying, he just was not used to emotions from either of the Bates girls. He stood there holding Liz as she composed herself.

Kat emerged from the trees that stood behind her house and between the next village. Today was the last day working for Owen and she was sincerely disappointed. While the work was exhausting, it had been nice to be out of the house. She smiled feeling the waiting the pocket of her dress, Owen's wife had slipped her a few extra coins to show her appreciation for the young lady who worked harder than her own son. The coins would mean that she would have enough money to pay taxes on her house for the upcoming month after Elizabeth left. She could not be upset with her sister, she had been cooped up in the house for years and now she was free to escape, she did not blame Liz for taking the opening presented to her. Although she would miss her sister deeply, maybe they could still see each other for the Avery's annual trip home. It would be good if she could use the extra money that would have fed two months to get a new dress and buy new-to-her furnishings for the house again. Kat began to feel giddy about the future.

As she rounded the corner to the side of the house where Night's stable was she saw a familiar mare and a couple embraced in a hug just beside her. Kat clicked her tongue and Night trotted the rest of the way to her sister and Philip.

The couple pulled apart as Kat and her steed approached, Phil rested a hand on Liz's shoulder while Kat dismounted her horse.

When she was safely on the ground Phil pulled her in for a bear hug, "Ah little Katherine Bates, how you have matured in the past 4 weeks!" He greeted with a laugh.

"Philip Avery!" Kat acknowledged between laboured breaths, Phil sure had gotten stronger recently! "What are you doing here?" She asked pretending to be clueless about the letter she wrote on her sisters behalf. A quick glance to her sister showed her face turning crimson as Philip laughed a hearty laugh.

"Well I came to ask for your sisters hand in marriage for a-" Phil put a hand to his chin as though he was thinking especially hard about his next few words, "6th time, is is?" He playfully mentioned. "I actually received a letter from Liz stating you lost your mother. I am so sorry for your loss." He said this time for Kat. She merely nodded her head, not wanting to talk about death any longer.

"Well that was just 5 moons ago. It takes 6 to get here. Plus I see you have your mare with you, it would have taken a while to load the cart, would it not?" She inquired, truly curious as to how he managed to get here so quickly.

Phil laughed and rubbed the back of his head guiltily, "The cart was actually loaded up already. I had been taking some armour from the castle to Stonegate. It's half a day's ride and I had just gotten back when the letter arrived so I immediately left. I'm only early because I rode through last night, I was worried about you two ladies alone here." He explained sheepishly.

Kate smiled and shook her head, knowing the real reason he was in such a hurry was because he finally had gotten the answer he desired from Elizabeth for so many years. "Well it is lovely to see you again Philip, but we must get sorting through mothers things, you're welcome to stay for a few days though." Liz stared openly at her younger sister while she spoke to Philip. Her eyes bounced back and forth between Kat and Phil, unsure as to why her sister pretended they had important matters to see to. Phil seemed distracted as well and Kat took the momentary distraction to shoot a wink to her sister. A wicked grin appearing on the youngers face.

Philip seemed to have pulled himself back from wherever his mind had wandered. His eyes held a miniscule amount of panic before he dropped down to his left knee. He looked up at the eldest Bates sister and gingerly grabbed hold of her hand. "Elizabeth Bates, whilst the current situation could be deemed most unromantic, would you do be the honor of becoming Elizabeth Avery?" He asked, his face held a rosy glow and his deep blue eyes shown as if had waited for this moment his entire life, and in reality he had.

Liz laughed at the cheesy 20 year old suitor who just got bullied into his proposal by a 17 year old girl, on the ground. His white shirt was half untucked from his trousers from the ride over, his hair was windswept, and his cheesy grin sat slightly higher on the left than the right. She couldn't help but smile at the boy- no man who kneels before her. Each previous proposal had felt like a game of cat and mouse, but this time it was real and she knew the answer her heart sung. While she loved him just as a brother, watching him watch her as if she was the only woman in the world, she thought that maybe she might just be able to love this man the way he loved her.

"Yes." She squeaked out as a beautiful sapphire and gold band was slid onto her leftmost hand. She gazed down at her ring finger knowing she had fulfilled her mother's promise. Phil would not leave Kat here to fend for herself, and he would love both girls just as he had for the last 18 years.

"Well, shall we go pack you two?" Phil asked pulling Liz from her thoughts and causing Kat's mouth to drop. Two?