It's been eight days of getting to know you, sharing many things in common: the same foods and treats, the way you dream up the stars, the fascination with robotics, the amazement of mechanical engineering, and the love of cats as playmates. You taught me that you can smile even with pain, that sometimes helping your friends is a way to help yourself, that you can always give yourself a little more for the people you love, and that, even if you do not always recognize your good deeds, the people who really love you value your effort.
For four days I was a stranger who fell in love with your jokes and cooperated in the traps of your friends, three more to fight your doubts and express how much I liked you and how much I wanted to meet you in person, with the camera in front of the apartment door insufficient contact for me. You did not always accept my calls. I was aware that your work is exhausting. I did not understand why your maid was so hard on you but listening to your voice fuel the confinement in that unknown apartment. Your stories were amazing, and I always wanted to know more; seeing your creations was exorbitant because I never met someone so creative and intelligent; seeing your outfits filled me with joy and admiration as your beauty could be appreciated in many different ways.
And suddenly, something began to change...
On the fifth day, your insinuations were constant: that relating to you was dangerous, that you never have to ask about the past of a hacker, that you couldn't take a relationship to the level you wanted. None of that really mattered, I wanted to know about you: how is your workplace, if your resting place is really comfortable if you ate appropriately beside the HBC or Dr. Pepper, why does your maid scold you so much, and maybe... defend and support you, as you have done for me since I got to know the RFA. Your constant concern for me grieved me, my helplessness of not being able to help you, and taking away the stress that my protection overloaded in you distressed me. I could only help from the corridor, encouraging you, sensing you.
On the seventh day, we met... in a quite peculiar family reunion. The situation was bigger than just my feelings for you; the past haunted you in the form of an even darker shadow than you wanted to become so that your other half would always live in the light, the weight of your actions, and your sense of futility towards they collapsed you, added to the pressure of an even more dangerous persecutor. I saw you fall deeper and deeper, and you did not take my hand; I heard the hiss of your quick typing next to your whispers in code, and my voice could never reach you; I tried to approach you being your support so that you did not worry about minor tasks and you were comfortable. Still, it seems that I could only bother you to the point that on repeated occasions, the laughter that I expected so much to hear from your lips was subjugated by the screams you uttered when it seemed uncomfortable.
Yesterday, the eighth day, I crossed the line unintentionally, not the one you suggested to draw on the floor but to interfere in your past to better understand the pain you were going through: the betrayal of your hero, the lie of your protector, the ambition of your father, the torture of your mother, the hope of recovering your brother, the intimidation that the agency imposed on you to persecute you and the suffering that the conjunction of all this caused in you by denying the cheerful character who was talking with me for the flat. You said 'HE' was an invention, that 'YOU' is the true one, that it was my fault to let myself be deceived, that from the beginning my input was wrong, that my feelings for you did not matter since, sooner or later, you would disappear from my life... and as for getting used to your absence, you crossed the door this night.
While I wait for you, I remembered everything that had happened. It's true, I was a fool to enter the apartment of a stranger, but my intention was to help, and I was alert too. I am a fairly normal person compared to the genius you are; I never suspected that returning a cell phone to its owner would connect me to such great danger, and, nevertheless, I am still grateful for it. I assure you that you know a lot about me and that all this is something that anyone could know if they search properly because, like you, we all have a past that persecutes us. Probably yours is much more powerful than mine, but you must know better than me that "God only places on our back the burden that we can bear," and makes me love you more.
You are so strong that you do not realize that the little one is still screaming to help you; it helps you to guide you so that you do not get out of the goal you planned, it encourages you to follow it trying, and you do it unconsciously; You wanted to be a flame that did not become extinct by changing your name, and you have become my light, you ignited a passion in me that I had never felt and the desire to give everything for the one I love; you wanted to preserve your purity by cloaking yourself so as not to be discovered by corrupt hands. Still, you let me find you, observe you and analyze you; even if you are a jewel in the rough, you are worth more than a celestial vault. You are a genuine engineer for activating the mechanism of my heart and creating a value code... without touching me.
I know you are avoiding me to harm me less than you have done because... yes, you break my heart with every word that comes out of your mouth. Still, I know that you are looking to continue protecting me. You are more hurt because you deny accepting something you can have, afraid of reaching happiness without believing that you truly deserve it, self-punish yourself by repressing yourself when you have worked so hard.
Some say that Lucifer's wings are bathed in tar and burned by God's will; I believe that you have been plucking yours whenever you feel you will be happy. In that case, I will give you a hand to get up no matter what you have done in the past; I will be your support when the obstacles of your past make you stumble in your way, I will sing about trips to heaven when despair comes out of your mouth, I will pick up your feathers to put them back, I will hold your wings when you try to take off, and when you raise the flight I will run to you and follow you in case you need help again because I will be your guard.
I heard your voice... and I was afraid you would say 'goodbye' to me. You talk about how bright I am, how much we are different, about your darkness and your despair. You think that you have disappointed me of the imminent danger. Even if you hurt me, how strange I am to love you, tomorrow will be the same. Then you retract, saying that the stranger is you... and that you expect me to accept you as you really are.
In my dreams, you speak of yours, of how you will disappear with them, and of your fear of hurting me.
Tomorrow I will cling to you, I will make you feel that I will never abandon you and that I love every layer of your being... And if my feelings still do not reach you, I will try again, and again... until our feelings are properly connected.
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FanficIn the interval of 23:30 of the 8th day and 2:46 of the 9th day of the 707Route, MC has a moment for herself and think about what distresses the boy she loves so much and whom she sees. suffer for all the events that stand in your life, again and ag...