Unwinding with Uri

Click.

"Good evening, Willa. How may I be of service?"

I spun around and searched for the source of the soothing voice.

"There's no need to be alarmed. I'm Uri, your personal assistant."

Gasping, I took a step back as my eyes landed on the featureless face and slender limbs of a robot standing in the corner of my hotel suite. "Oh, hey, Uri. Sorry, I didn't know this room came with A.I."

"Indeed. All of the rooms in the Marriott hotels come equipped with artificial intelligence beings." The robot remained motionless. "If I may, you appear stressed. Your heartrate is elevated and your temporalis appears rigid."

I raised my hand to my jaw. "I've had a pretty rough day." Understatement of the year.

"May I help elevate your stress levels?" Uri asked. "I offer a number of services from deep tissue massage, to aroma therapy, to guided meditation."

My neck and lower back ached. "A massage would be great."

The lights lowered and turned the room a subtle shade of goldenrod. "There's a warm robe in the bathroom. I will set up the massage table while you change." Uri's arm extended outward. "Would you like me to play some relaxing music?"

"How about waves breaking on the White Cliffs of Dover?" I asked.

Without missing a beat, the rhythmic sounds of water pounding against stone filled the room.

"Thank you, Uri." I made my way into the bathroom and slid out of my pencil skirt and fitted white dress shirt. A large coffee stain covered the front. Sighing, I tossed it in the sink. I'd travelled thousands of miles to pitch my tech startup company to three major investors and right before going into the board room, I'd spilled my coffee all over myself. Sure, they told me not to worry about it, but I felt like a complete idiot. At least my pitch went flawlessly. With the necessary funding, we would create a fleet of artificial intelligence beings, focused on providing care for children with autism. The investors said they would be in touch this evening. I was confident in our concept, but we were up against steep competition.

"Your massage table is ready, Willa." Uri's voice came out through a small speaker next to the mirror.

I slid on my robe and pushed through the door. "Thank you, Uri." Mmmmm. The scent of lavender filled my nostrils.

"Your bio states that you enjoy lavender," Uri said, motioning to the massage table. "I took the liberty of misting the room."

"It's lovely," I said, climbing on to the massage table.

Uri's hands immediately got to work. Kneading the knots away. Before I knew it, an hour and a half had passed.

"Would you like me to continue?" Uri asked.

I stretched my arms above my head. "No, this was perfect. Thank you."

The sound glass clinking on the table. "Cucumber water with fresh lemon."

"Uri, you really are the best," I said, reaching for the glass. The delicious liquid slid down my throat.

"It's my pleasure," Uri said. "Per your earlier instructions, I've ordered your dinner. It will arrive in ten minutes."

"Vegan ropa vieja and a glass of merlot?" I asked.

"Yes. The chef picked up a delicious selection of smoky peppers from Little Havana. I think you will be quite pleased," Uri said.

"I can't wait!" My stomach rumbled. I'd be too nervous to eat earlier. Pulling my robe tight around my waist, I plopped down on the couch and took another swig of water.

"You have a new email," Uri said. "Would you like me to read it for you?"

"Sure," I said, closing my eyes and getting lost in the sounds of the waves. I'd never felt so relaxed in my entire life.

Half expecting to hear which cat food was on sale this week, I all but spaced out as Uri's voice came out like a melody. "Dear Miss Willa Colter, we are thrilled to inform you that our investors have selected your startup for full funding. Please meet us tomorrow morning at eight o'clock sharp to discuss the details. Congratulations!"

"URI!" I shrieked. "URI! I WON!"

The robot punched a code into the wall. A moment later, a small opening appeared with a bottle of champagne. "Congratulations, Willa! Shall we celebrate with your favorite bubbly?"

"Yes!" I punched my fists into the air like Rocky Balboa. "Thank you, Uri!"