Well Here I Am

A day to forget

"It was around five. No, six and we were eating dinner. Like a regular day. Mom made her special meatloaf and dad just got home from work. We were happy, or at least content. We finished and I was doing dishes when the doorbell rang. My parents looked at each other, they looked worried. No idea why at the time. My dad answered the door. Some big looking men were there. Pushed their way in. I just stood there and watched as they asked my dad for the money. He didn't have it of course. He was too into gambling for that.

So they pushed him and my dad fell over. I was going to move to help him when my mom made eye contact with me. I knew what she meant. Run. So I quietly walked to the fire escape and sat in hiding. I could here it get worse in there. Swearing and yelling. Then I heard it. Pop pop silence. And... and I knew something was wrong. I waited. At least till they were gone. I think. I was in a shocked state I guess. I went in when I heard the police car below. Someone called. Not me. I walked in to... to.. they...."

"You don't have to finish Miss."

"I.. I do. They were laying there dead. Blood everywhere. I.. I couldn't move. That's when the police came in. Door was unlocked and now I'm here. In questioning."

"Thank you for your statement Miss Sage."

"Where do I stay for now?"

"We have a victim protection program you will be going into for a week for safety reasons. After that we will help you find an apartment and a job. You graduated?"

"Yes."

"We have programs to help you find a job." I nod and sit in the office chair. It's weird, knowing that at only 17 you have to grow up so fast.

Emotions were mixed you admitted. I'm sad I lost my parents only a few hours ago. It tore into you that maybe you could have done something. The guilt of knowing you should have died too in there. The strongest emotion was anger. Why did this happen? You want something you never needed.

Revenge.

The need courses through you. Your hands almost shaking at its power. You never felt something like this. It was pure white rage.

Thinking back on your life you always took advantage of your parents around. They were never not around. You and them would do a lot as a family. Your favourite was the movies. Wait... movies. You watch tons of movies about assassins and hit men.

Wheels started to turn in your head. You could do that. You know how to a least hold a gun. You held one once. For a picture but that's not important. Slowly it was becoming a bigger picture. All you had to do was get into the right crowd and maybe change your hair.

The cop walked back into the room with some files and sat down in the seat.

"We can get you a therapist if you like. Someone to talk to?"

"I don't want to talk about it anymore."

"Okay. We will take you to the safe house in a few minutes." He put the files on the table. "We do need you to sign some papers first tho."

Finishing the long paper work you hope in a car with a female cop. The ride was silent and uncomfortable but you kept it that way. They thought you were sad and morning the loss. They were so wrong.