Sometimes I feel like, thinking something is way more difficult than actually doing it.
It's just that, we just underestimate the given situation, time and place.
Currently I am seated in my own sangeet ceremony looking as happy as I can, and yes, how can I forget
I am avoiding all possible eye contacts with Ahana and the sympathy stares from her parents and Ranbir.
Ranbir hasn't told his parents or anyone yet, because he wants me to go ahead and say it myself.
My respect for him has increased to a next level.
Among all the happiness and positivity, I feel like a black ball full of darkness, leaking negativity.
Maa's voice brings me out of my thoughts, "C'mon guys it is a sangeet ceremony, let's dance, sing and make it as memorable as possible."
All the lights turn off and then there was a spotlight on the stage, my family had set up with a week of hard-work, and in entered my little cousins, who had prepared a dance performance for me, which almost immediately made me grin from ear to ear.
Their performance got over way too soon for my liking and my mind which had calmed just a little bit seeing them, became uncomfortable all over again.
It was like darkness spreading in a hole that had seemed to form a permanent space in my heart.
After that I completely blanked out, my mental presence had way too much on her plate right now, that she didn't even bother to return when I wanted her to, this bitch, I mentally cursed at her, showing her the middle finger, and blanking out again.
Somewhere between the function, I heard someone say that my cousin sister, Tanya, who had just gotten married a year back, would be singing a song for me and my family, which peaked my interest, just a little bit and eventually my mental self, starting coming back.
All the lights went off.
Then there was a spotlight directly at her.
Background music started to play, but there was something else as well.
A PowerPoint, with lots of picture, small clips of me and my parents and then she started to sing.
Ungli pakad ke toone
Chalna sikhaya tha na
Dehleez oonchi hai yeh
Paar kara de
Baba main teri malika
Tukda hoon tere dil ka
Ik baar phir se dehleez
Paar kara de
There was a picture of maa chasing me with a spoon full of baby food in her hand, and the little me was giggling, with no care of the world.
A tear dropped down my cheeks, remembering the sweet memory.
Mud ke na dekho dilbaro, dilbaro
Mud ke na dekho dilbaro x (2)
Faslein jo kaati jayein
Ugti nahi hain
Betiyan jo byaahi jayein
Mudti nahi hain x (2)
Aisi bidayi ho to
Lambi judayi ho to
Dehleez dard ki bhi
Paar kara de
There was the picture of me winning my first award and my maa having happy tears in her eyes, I till date don't know, how dad had managed to click that shot.
Another tear dropped.
Baba main teri malika
Tukda hoon tere dil ka
Ik baar phir se dehleez
Paar kara de
Mud ke na dekho dilbaro, dilbaro
Mud ke na dekho dilbaro x (2)
Mere dilbaro
Barfein galengi phir se
Mere dilbaro
Faslein pakengi phir se
Tere paon ke talle
Meri dua chalein
Dua meri chalein
Then there was a picture of all of us, where I had taken my parents to visit Hawaii, completely sponsoring the trip on my earning.
My dad had told me, that he was proud of me and my achievements in life, that day.
A lump started to rise in my throat.
Ungli pakad ke toone
Chalna sikhaya tha na
Dehleez oonchi hai yeh
Paar kara de
Baba main teri malika
Tukda hoon tere dil ka
Ik baar phir se dehleez
Paar kara de
Mud ke na dekho dilbaro, dilbaro
Mud ke na dekho dilbaro x (2)
The song ended, lights came back on, people around me started clapping and I swallowed the heavy lump in my throat.
Tanya, looks at me and winks, while I smile at her.
My colleague comes to her and says, "Jeez, this song could have waited when she was going to go."
And everyone laughs.
My sister laughs and says, "Nah! I don't think so, little bit emotion is good. Isn't it Shanaya?"
And I laugh, trying to make it as real as possible, and then shoo her away.
The guests settle down for the next performance and my breathing stops, when I hear who is going to perform next.
A/N:
Hi!
Did u like it?
The song Tanya sings in this chapter is Dilbaro, a song used in the film 'Raazi' starring Alia Bhatt.
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Till next time
Much Love To All
Khushee Taneja
:)
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