New beginnings

Part 3: Confessions

When we return from the hike, Harper and Lily immediately go off to explore the area and my parents crash on the couch. Me, Morgan and Aiden decide to play cards. While playing, in the back of my head I'm hoping Aiden forgot about our earlier conversation. I don't want to deal with it right now. I'm gonna be on this vacation with Morgan for three and a half more weeks so I'd rather not tell her I'm gay now. After we finish playing the game for the second time, Aiden gives me a look.
"I'm gonna go get some fresh air." he says. I know he's telling me to follow him, and with a heavy feeling in my stomach I nod.
"I'll come too." I say. He's out the door before anyone can even respond and I walk after him quickly. This is gonna be awkward, isn't it?

We walk in silence for a little while until we find a bench in the middle of nowhere. It's so quiet here. You can't hear anything but crickets. When I look up, all I see is millions of stars. I'm in awe of the beauty around me. Aiden clears his throat. I look at him and, not for the first time, notice how beautiful he is, as well. I think I'd rather look at him than at the stars any day.

"So, uh.." he pauses, looking uncomfortable. "Are you gay?" I'm startled by how straight forward it is.
"I think so? I mean, I'm kind of lost, to be honest. I don't even know if I ever really liked Morgan or if it was just like.. I was supposed to, I guess." I hate how unsure I sound.
"How long have you known?" Aiden seems really insistent on getting to the bottom of this. I don't even know how he was so sure I was gay in the first place.
"Well.. Like a few hours I guess." I blush, knowing that this does obviously imply that he's the reason I figured it out.
"So.. You like me?" I kind of freeze. I knew this was coming, but right now I want to run away more than anything.
"What would you do if I said yes?" I ask hesitantly.
"I'd say I liked you back." Oh. So he's gay too. That does explain why I've never seen him with a girl. I don't have any idea of what to say. In a stupid attempt to break the tension, I stick out my arm.
"Feel my pulse." I say, feeling incredibly dumb. He does.
"Holy shit Tate, your heart is racing- feel mine." He sticks his arm out just like I did before. I feel his pulse. His is definitely as fast as mine.
"Woah." I whisper. I don't even know what to say. We sit in silence for a while, close together, both looking at the stars.
"It's so beautiful out, huh." he says. I feel his gaze burning into me as I nod. I make a bold move- as bold as I'd ever dare anyway- and take his hand. As his fingers intertwine with mine, he puts his head on my shoulder. It reminds me of what Morgan did earlier today, but this feels pleasant. Not like any touch by her has ever felt. No wonder we never had sex.
"Hey, Tate?" he asks. He sits back up, and I look at him.
"Yeah?"
"Are you gonna break up with Morgan?" Shit.
"I don't know, should I? I mean, I probably will because I feel like I'm lying to her, but I don't want to be on a vacation with her after breaking up with her, you know?" He hums in understanding, and circles the back of my hand with his thumb.
"That's gotta be difficult. I'm sorry."
"Besides, I don't even know if I should come out to my parents. I have no idea what they'd think to be honest, but my mom seems kind of old-fashioned with this kinda stuff."
"I was scared at first too, but luckily my parents were accepting. I think your parents love you a lot and I don't think they'll be mean or anything. But it's your choice."
"Yeah." I sound hoarse. "Hey, should we be getting back? We've been gone for a long time now. Morgan is probably worried." I start getting up, but Aiden pulls me back down. He looks me in the eyes with an intense look that makes my stomach flip.
"Tate? Please just promise me one thing?" I nod quickly, my mouth feeling dry. "Don't put other people's feelings before your own? I know you have a tendency of doing that. I've seen it." I nod again, speechless for a few seconds. When I regain my ability to speak, I decide I should lighten the mood a little.
"Have you been paying that much attention to me, Aiden?" I say in a teasing voice. He chuckles.
"Maybe I have."
"Mysterious. I like it." I laugh and pull him up. "Let's go home." He takes my hand again. We start walking but he suddenly stops. I look back to ask what's up, but Aiden just puts his arms around my neck and kisses me. As his lips crash into mine, my heart is beating so fast it feels like it might stop, and my stomach has turned into a rollercoaster. I've never felt like this before. As I pull away from the kiss, I just think: I'm definitely gay.