Dunno

Take me home

*trigger warning*  This is about Manchester and I was not there but I wrote it based off of what I've seen and heard about it. 

Ariana's POV

May 22, 2017  11:00 pm

     Somethin' bout somethin' bout... I finish off the last note admiring the dark red light cascading over the arena. I walk off stage and turn around to see the curtains brightening up. They turn on the lights. I can still feel the energy of the crowd. "You did wonderful sweetheart," my mother comes up to me with a warm smile giving me the softest hug. "Thank you Momma," I say to her with the intention of sincerity but it comes across as more of uncertainty. "You did great honey, what's wrong?" she has a look of concern in her eyes now. "Um, nothing. Just something feels off." Boom! 

     I hear a loud noise but I'm not sure what it is. Horrendous screaming soon fills the arena and I begin to panic.  A look of fear plasters my mothers face, and all I want to do is make sure my fans are okay. "There's no problems here. Just take your time and keep exiting the building. There's no need to pitch up and run. Take your time. There's no problems here." There's no problems here. There's no problems here. Everything is happening so fast but my brain is working in slow motion. I repeat what the man said over and over again yet nothing clicks. My mother grips my arm and begins pulling me away from the stage. That's when I truly process what's going on. "No." I pull away. "I have to help them. I-I I need to make sure my f-fans," I'm breathing so deeply I feel as if I'm going to pass out but I somehow manage to make my way over to the curtain, stumbling backwards. I pull it back and am faced with running fans. Blood. There's blood everywhere. My adrenaline kicks in and I start sprinting towards the scene of the crime, concern clouding my judgement. "Ariana!" I hear my mother yell but don't bother to stop. I don't make it far because a strong arm latches onto my stomach and begins to carry me back. I fight with all my strength but give up. The person is too strong. "No, no, no! Get off of me! I have to help them. M-my babies," I didn't realize I was crying until I felt someone wipe the tear from my face. "Ariana! We need to get you out of here," I hear a woman speaking. I don't recognize the voice and I look up to see an unrecognizable face to go along with it. Is she a fan? Is she apart of this? Am I going to make it out of here alive? So many unwarranted thoughts are running through my head. I can't think straight."W-who a-are you?" I stutter out in utter confusion. By now everything's a blur. The woman is still holding onto me and based on what had just occurred I can't trust her. "Get off of me!" I scream. I don't have the power to push her off or say anything else. My whole body was shaking profusely. I glance over and see my mother bringing survivors back stage helping them. She then rushes to my side. "Ariana sweetheart, we have to go right now! Do you understand?" I nod because right now that's all I can do. I realize that the woman disappeared but don't question it. 

     My security guards lead me out to safety and I walk onto my tour bus. I don't even remember getting there. I feel like I'm in a blackout. I don't even realize that my mother is sat next to me holding me. "Shhh shhh. It's okay baby. Everything's gonna be alright." Am I crying? I can't feel anything. The thought of knowing but not knowing rips through my soul. I manage to barely speak up, "W-what h-happened?" My mother has always been 100 percent honest with me and in this moment she knows I need her to tell the truth more now than ever. "Sweetie," she breathes out. I stare directly into her eyes now, tears blurring my vision, my eyebrows furrow. I really need to hear it from someone. "Mom," I state firmly. "It was a terrorist attack. A suicide bomber." As soon as those words leave her mouth I fall on the floor clutching my stomach for dear life. An indecipherable scream, escapes my body. Something I never expected to feel. It hurt. All at once I feel everything that I was afraid of. I felt my heart shattering into a million pieces. "No,no this can't be happening," I choke out. But it is. All the things you hear on the news that you never expect to happen to you becomes a reality in an instant. I feel a weight on my heart unlike anything I've ever felt before. As my body weighs down, my head feels light. Then everything goes black. 

     I flutter my eyes open and adjust to the light. All I see are dark blobs. As my vision clears up I see my mother and Brian both hovering over me. My mom is using a damp wash cloth on my forehead to cool me down. I must've passed out. I remember everything. I sit up suddenly and both Brian and my mom back up. "Where are they? Is everyone okay? Did anyone get hurt?" I mentally face palm myself for even asking the last question. I'm standing up now but my legs give out and I sit back down. My mom comes over to me and Brian exits the room. I can tell she's been crying. "Mommy..." is all I can say before I'm balling my eyes out again. She holds me, so I know she'll never let go. It's unfair of me to ask, selfish really. But I don't know what else to do. I lift my head out from my mothers shoulders just enough for her to hear me. "Please...take me home." 

A/N So I know this is super sad and some people don't like to write about Manchester out of respect but i really needed to add this in. It played such a significant role in Mac and Ari's relationship and i think it affected them both quite a lot so yeahhh... I will be talking a lot about mental health but this will be a fairly long book so I hope you stick around to see the happy times... Vote and comment <3 ily     alsoooooo sorry for typos I'm sick af but I will edit tomorrow