Love Letter

Despairing.

My blinds didn't help one bit with my sleep. Waking me early or waking me late, never on time. I was slipping on my slippers, when a knock resounded from my door. 'Come in,' I grumbled, sounding more like a grizzly than a person. A laugh resounded from the door and my sister opened the door, a huge, beautiful and blinding smile on her face. I never wanted to take that away.

She shouted into my tiny room, 'You got mail!' I got up, mumbled a bit of profanities and grabbed my mail silently, slamming the door shut after. 

As shown, I am not a morning person.

One piece of ripped, folded and stained paper caught my immediate attention. The others were grayish-white leaf with paper hearts on them, signed and sealed. The stains were red and I assumed it was just an accident, there were a lot of stains, so, a lot of accidents. 

Being me, I opened it with a question clearly written on my face. "Who sent this?"

I looked suddenly down to the bottom, but it was blanked out by a splatter of blood. As soon as I finished reading, my eyes were wet and the page was mixed with blood, tears and paper paste. This is why I wanted to hide, why I wanted to not do my hair and wear a hoodie with trackies. Everywhere, at least one death, because of me. But mum won't let me hide. And now we have to move, again.

Now a families member is dead, another splatter of blood on my hands. Another fracture in my heart. I don't want life to be this way. But it is what it is.