A Little Bit Of Joy | ✔

Chapter Fifty Two : The Boy's Fifth Rose

Gemma, my mum and I had gone out to the mall for shopping and lunch. We spent the morning buying different clothes and cute shoes and designer handbags until all of us were exhausted. In the morning, there wasn't any crowd so Gemma wasn't uncomfortable and I got enough space to breathe, relax and move at my own pace. My abdomen hurt less and fever came and went less frequently than before.

We didn't go to the food court because of the greasy food and instead sat at a fancy restaurant so I could get equally fancy looking healthy salads. All three of us were tickled pink, feeling overly satisfied with a perfect shopping spree and a perfect meal. It had been long since we three had spent such an exuberant day together without quarelling and just us- mum and her daughters. I had stuck to Gemma all day, making up for all those times when I had deserted her.

"Why did you buy so much yellow?" I heard Gemma ask from behind. We were on our way home now, mum driving the car, I seated beside her on the passenger's seat and Gemma in the back with dozens of bags surrounding her.

"I don't know," I said dreamily, thinking of that day when Logan had said that yellow suited me the best. I felt pathetic inwardly, but I couldn't stop myself. Somehow, his liking had mattered to me while I was picking out clothes. "Get used to yellow Gem, you'll be using them soon."

My mum's eyes flashed to me and I shrugged.

"You even bought yellow coloured underwear . . . "

"Gemma!" I hollered and mum glanced back, her lips curling up in amusement. I turned back and snatched the underwear Gemma held. "Don't remove these from the bag right now, it's inconvenient!"

Gemma and my mum's eyes were on me and as I bit my lip to keep myself from blushing, both of them started giggling like little girls.

"Oh that's enough. I like yellow okay and maa, concentrate on the road." I fought my urge to smile as they continued laughing.

* * *

I pushed through the doors of the flower shop and instantly felt disappointment wash over me. I should have been relieved that Logan wasn't here then why did I only felt emptiness? Truth be told, I wanted to see him again. I wanted to get lost in pools of blue and green.

I had imagined Logan to sit on the bench outside with his shoulders hunched forward and stuffing Mac and Cheese in his mouth, his feet tapping the ground repeatedly as if eating was a chore. I had imagined Logan lumbering outside with his hands shoved deep in his pockets, his eyes looking right through the glass sheathed walls and to me. I had imagined Logan behind the counter, awkwardly arranging pretty flowers and handing one politely whenever a customer asked.

"Grandpa, good afternoon!" I beamed at my grandpa who appeared from the storage room. "Mum sent you lunch so I came by to drop it."

I swayed the lunch bag and placed it on the counter. I tried to peep inside the storage room and suddenly my grandpa asked, "You're looking for someone JJ?"

"Oh no, I'm not looking for Logan." I grimaced at my own words. "I-I mean that I recently met him at Angel's so yeah- no I'm not looking for anyone."

Grandpa raised one calculating, bushy eyebrow. "When I asked Kellerman, he said he hasn't spoken to you since a long time."

"Well . . . I saw him with his friends. New friends. He got them now and he looked happy. He doesn't need me anymore." Ugh. I slapped myself mentally for sounding like a jealous ex witch.

My grandpa's voice was low as he turned towards the shelves and said, "Can't he be friends with different people at the same time?"

"Um yeah . . . "

"So?" he didn't look at me, he was busy with tidying a bouquet as he enquired.

"The . . . The truth is that he's fallen in love with me grandpa. How ridiculous is that!" I laughed nervously. "We can't be together, our fate is doomed to unhappiness."

"Hmm." He turned again and looked at me, his face grim. "Do you love Kellerman, JJ?"

The question lay heavy in the air between us as it swung back and forth slowly like the pendulum of grandpa's old clock until it striked me hard.

"W-What? What do you mean? It doesn't matter if I love him or not---"

My grandpa raised his voice- interrupting harshly, "Do you love that skinny boy?"

"No . . . " I was fidgeting with my hands. Why were my hands sweaty? "I don't know . . . "

"Do you love him JJ?!" My grandpa was  practically yelling at me now.

I couldn't take it anymore.

"Yes!" I shouted back furiously, hot tears stinging my eyes. "I love Logan Kellerman God damn it, grandpa! I'm in love with that lanky, awkward boy! I'm hopelessly in love with him and I fricking don't know what to!"

My chest heaved up and down as I tried to catch my breath. My grandpa seemed all cool and composed which peeved me more. Damn men and their ability to make me lose everything including my sanity.

"So what now huh?" I snapped. I had never been this angry at my grandpa before. "What am I supposed to do?"

He resumed arranging the flowers, leaving me hanging to decide what to do. I stood there dumbly, still not being able to grasp the situation fully. Finally, my grandpa said as a matter of fact, "Kellerman left ten minutes ago."

Oh. Ten minutes. That wasn't long. I could catch up with him.

"Will you be standing here like a dimwit or be a clever girl and use your brain?" my grandpa sneered and shaking my head, I rushed to the door.

I stopped and stared at him for a second. "Thanks," I mumbled hastily and he simply nodded, his eyes concentrated on four roses in his hand. Four roses. Logan needed his fifth rose- to love and to hold even if it withered away soon.

A thrill shot through me as I bolted outside, climbed on my bicycle and pedalled fiercely down the lane. My body ached with each movement- a bitter reminder that summer was over and so my energy. The wind violently whipped me from my head to toe and my thoughts swirled in it- leaving me drained, bruised yet hopeful.

My body started to tremble when I noticed Logan's lean frame treading on the street. Logan was there, he was right there! My heart could barely contain all the emotions as I felt my strong love for him surge through me passionately. Like a madwoman, I bawled, "Logan!"

He didn't hear me.

"Logan, you deaf fool!" I slowed my bicycle to a halt and he whirled around, confused. I quickly hurled my bicycle away and ran to him- ran to him like a mental case before he could recover from the shock. I leaped on him with my arms wide open and he stumbled back a little.  Before he could utter a word, I hugged him tightly and murmured against his salty neck, "I love you Logan."

* * *

A/N :

Finally! Who loves grandpa now?