Unrecognized Obligation

I get this feeling

In my chest

Almost like a pain.

It stings and lingers like the

Pain of a fresh wound

It's the same feeling I get when

I'm in fear.

Like a pressing on my chest

And

A tightening rope around

My stomach

But I excuse it distastefully

And with haste

I get this feeling in my stomach

Like a million butterflies inside

Like a constant, nonstop tickling.

Yet, nothing is amusing.

This is the same feeling I get when

I'm nervous.

But I brush it off methodically

And with grace.

And then I get this thought

In my head.

The same thought as when

I know it's game time

Time to perform

Time to act

The calm before the storm.

And I'm confused.

And I can't channel my feelings and I start to go mad and I can't control myself and I'm blind with rage and thought and emotion and my heart starts to race and I can't hold it in.

And then

I'm calm.

And I know what I must do.