insomnia →

[14]

Yoongi's POV

I finally reached Jieun's house .
I'm really afraid that she'll kill me because my phone went dead and I couldn't text her .

I called her from downstairs
"JIEUN HONEY , IM HOME!"
there wasn't a reply , so I called again and this time a little louder.
"JAGIYA! IM HOME!"
Still no reply.

So I decided to go up.
I went up and knocked on her door .
there wasn't a reply , still.
I thought to myself ...
"maybe she fell asleep"

I opened the door to check
I didn't see her on the bed .. Nor her study table .

That's when I saw something.
She was on the floor ......
her hand was bleeding
And there was a penknife beside her .
I gasped and ran towards kneeling in front of her .

"Jieun?"
"Jieun are you playing a prank on me?!"
"KIM FUCKING JIEUN!"
I stared shaking her violently because I can't help it. It doesn't look fake .

I immediately carried her down and brought her to the nearby hospital .

Once I reached I ran in and started looking for the information counter.

"Hi , I need a doctor right now! "
the nurse immediately called the doctor and a few other nurses.

They came with a stretcher and gently took her from my arms and placed her down .

I literally can't stop crying .

They pushed the stretcher into the emergency room and I ran next to them as my tears streamed down my cheeks and on to her body.

When we were somewhere near the room one of the nurses came towards me and told me to wait outside . After that , she asked me a question.

"How is she related to you?"

I told her that she was my girlfriend.
And we haven't even started dating yet.

She stared at me .
And from her expression, I can tell that she felt sorry for me .

I cried even more ;-;

The nurse left me , I then went to the side and took a seat. While waiting  for the checkup to finish.

2 hours later they came out .
And after they told me about the news .
My heart dropped to the ground and I fell on the floor crying.

I didn't care what people think .
I just cried .

The doctor apologised then walked away from me.

I slowly stand up. And walk into the emergency room to look at Jieun.

When I looked I cried even more .

I can't believe this is happening.

I sat down on the bed next to her and started talking to her .

Jieun. I know you can't hear me . But I love you. And , i'm sorry .

You only became like this because of me .

We were gonna be a happy and Long lasting couple . And I made you leave me.

I shouldn't have let you home alone

And instead i should have kept you by my side .

I really regretted what I done .

As I said those , my tears streamed uncontrollably down my face .

I lightly pecked her lips and held her hand tightly.

the doctor came in and told me to stand up.

"On the 13th of June 2018
   the death of Kim Jieun [Tracy] ."

I stood there and continued crying my eyes out .

I really didn't know what to do anymore.

I then decided to go home to rest .

I walked into her room and saw a pastel pink notebook on Jieun's bed .

I picked it up to see what it was .
And from what I can tell, it was her diary.

I flipped though the pages quickly reading it and found something heartbreaking.

2 may 2012
dear diary ,
Today I went to the Doctors for a month ULT check up and found out that I have FFI (fatal familial insomnia) .

But there was a page that made me cry even more .

11th may 2018
today I made a new Friend !
his name is miN yoongi !
And I think I might have a crush on him but I don't wanna tell or else he might not be my friend anymore .

I laughed and cried at the same time .
wtf is wrong with me? I said to myself .

i got tired so I lied down on her bed to take a nap .