I stroll down the familiar lane with its light layer of dust and its steady stream of stones surrounded by the banks of nature. I forget that I am mere minutes away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life with the over-populated streets and the neighbours who stare but never speak.
I think back to the many times I have walked down this lane and let go of all my worries concentrating on my final destination, the bliss that is simply silence. I remember how long the walk use to feel to my tiny legs at the age of five and how sometimes we would drive down to river on a rainy day just because it was too cold to walk.
This lane was my heaven, my bliss, my perfection. Now I walk the streets and notice the little things that are so important, I’ve noticed the things people miss when staring at a screen rather than appreciating the immense landscape we are enveloped in.
Teenagers are too busy listening to music to listen to the happy bird’s song, or the youthful rustle of a rabbit running for cover from our destructive forces. I admit myself that I too am guilty of washing out these precious sounds, but today I stop for a minute and listen. Some would say it is silent but I hear the crunch of leaves under our feet on a crisp winter’s morning and the gentle rustle of green leaves on a fresh summer’s day. I hear the laughter of the innocent children that run this lane every day and that always have. I remember what it’s like to be so free, when you know not of pain, and when every little thing in life is important, and I pity those of us who no longer feel that, because we’ve stopped noticing the little things, the things that make life great.
So as I near my destination, I smile and offer a sweet greeting for the dog walker passing by, and take a personal note of the slight breeze of water running as the river glistens in the bright sunshine.
My biggest smile comes when I see you, standing against the bank, right where you always are. I close my eyes as we link hands and the image of me as a five year old and you, an old man I use to say, cradling me and keeping me safe. You begin to sing the soft tune of our song that was ever present at this bank, the song that to this day reminds me that it does not matter what this world throws at me I will always be triumphant because I will never be alone.
In many ways I’m afraid to open my eyes because I know that when I do, you will be gone again and that hole in my heart at your absence will once more consume me. I force my eyes open just as a warm tear makes its way down the frozen path that has been forged over the past seven years. This time it’s different though, I know that this will be the last time, and this time I have to let go. As I began to make the walk back I feel a twinge in my hand. I look down into my empty palm, and I smile because I know you will never truly be gone and you will always be watching over me. I chuckle at the kingfisher that flies past me once more, and know that grandma is there with you, and both of you are finally happy.
This is when I find my closure.
Forever and Always.
