A Broken Mirror

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"Why do you hate me?"
His voice was so sweet. It was filling my head. Filling my mind.
"I don't hate you I just... rather not be close to you." I trailed on. He stared at me with those gorgeous hazel eyes. As much as I wanted to run to him and embrace him in my arms... I couldn't. He would hurt me. I'm protecting myself. I'm protecting him.
"Why are you avoiding me then?!" His voice was raised, anger starting to arise.
"It's for the best okay?! I'm bad Patton. You should just stay away from me." I replied as I rested my head in my hands.
"I'm worthless."
His expression softened. Slowly, he made his way to the bed and sat beside me.
"What's wrong Virgil?" He asked. Tears were starting to form in my eyes. He needs to stop.
"I feel like... if I open up to you...If I commit.. then you'll see that I'm weak. That I'm not all sunshine and rainbows. You'll see that... I'm broken."
"You're not broken Virgil." He whispers.
"I am Patton! I'm like-like a broken mirror. I-I can't be fixed and when you try to clean me up you'll get hurt by the shards." As I gaze into his eyes I keep telling myself that I'm not in love. But these feelings are real, and I can't get rid of them. I snap back. I let a few tears trickle down my face but try to hide them from him.
"Just leave Patton"

I hear Patton disappear up the stairs into the darkness of his room. The stairs creak as he moves solemnly over them. I feel ashamed, that I have let my one true friend down, but I am scared that he will find the truth.

Tears roll down my cheeks as I slump upon the worn sofa of our house. Our house. I can't believe we live under the same roof and he still doesn't know the real me, maybe he doesn't care enough to realise...suddenly fear strikes, taking the breath out of my lungs, my eyesight starts to fade...I black out and let the darkness swallow me...

"VIRGIL!" I recognise that voice, it's the voice of a loved one. My eyes gaze into view, and I see those warm hazelnut eyes looking over me once more "Virgil what happened, I came downstairs and you were passed out! Tears are rolling down his cheeks, his forehead is etched with worry. "I thought-I thought I lost you..."
My mind races, he cares, he really cares!, inside I am elated, but I don't let my outside give it away, because I can't let him see the real me. "No Patton I'm here, thank you but I-I'm fine now, go back to sleep"
"But Virgil, I'm worried about you, what if it happens again, if you were gone, I couldn't live...you are my friend,I would die for you!"
Yeah just a friend. He would never think of me as more than that.
"I'm fine Patton, now go to sleep" I try to reassure him. I'm so close to breaking. I'll burst into tears. Part of me wants to. To let him hold me in his loving arms... but he probably just thinks of us as best friends and nothing more. I wouldn't want to ruin that.

"I'm not going back to sleep just yet. Do you want to talk? Or have some food?" He asks. He's so determined to get me to open up.
"Patton... I just want to apologise. About before I... I just didn't want either of us to be hurt." I trailed. He looks up at me with those hazel puppy dog eyes.
"It's okay. I understand." He understands? What does he understand? That I can't show the true me because he'll hate me? Because we're best friends? Because I love him?!
"Patton, can I say something?" I question as I gaze into his eyes. He's beautiful.
"Yes Virgil?" He responds, leaning into me.
"I'm going to tell you something. You might be angry or sad or think I'm just plain stupid but...I love you!" I blurt. My cheeks are red and hot. I want to curl into a ball and watch the world fade away. I watch his face, waiting for him to just stare at me in confusion or rage. We're best friends and he'll hate me.
I close my eyes, hoping the end is near. I jump at the feel of a hand on my cheek.
"I love you too." Patton says softly. At this point I couldn't stop myself. I bury my head into the crook of his neck and cry.

"You're not weak Virgil, you've just been strong for too long."

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