sad hours spam

feeling whitneyyyy

heya so i painted my nails black and i'm suddenly emo

school already sucks and i really think it's me

i want to be dedicated but that shit is hard, i'm in a completely different world half the time

anyways i think i like a boy and he's a goodie two shoes, but i'm kinda diggin it because he's the only one nice to me anymore

anyways he called on me during class today, more like the teacher said "pick any girl for the next one" and he turned around and just smiled at me

BIG OOF FOR THAT.

i've been tired

geometry is already weird

i really dislike the school's schedule and mine because the school is big and i walk from one end to another and back

i can't wait to get my license so i don't have to wait for the bus at seven in the morning

i don't have any classes with my friends and i used to be talkative but something changed and now i just get anxious, literally have zero classes

well i have two with that boy, but i don't think we're much of friends, just that i see him around

i was in a skippy mood earlier because i told my mom about my developing crush, so yeah

i'm waiting for my new vans to come in, i ordered them online and a whole bunch of other stuff so i'm broke now

i'm also waiting for my privileged friends—who say their poor but their parents are the ones that put the money in their bank accounts—to ask me if i want to go out and spend even more money

i'm struggling to lose weight too, like i eat right, i exercise, but it's just not doing me too well

scary thing is, i really hope my dad doesn't expect me to come for labor day because i don't think i can handle being at his house anymore

i've just been wishing for things to get better

and that i can be a better person, i've been so rude and having these mood swings lately

i think i'm really just angry with myself for not knowing how to control my feelings or at least know what i'm feeling.