𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘢𝘥 ✧ 𝙨𝙡𝙪𝙢𝙥𝙩𝙖𝙘𝙞𝙤𝙣

ELEVEN

"i'm not gay, i'm jahcurious"

stokeley

i have never been more confused with myself in my life.

so much for being straight. the only thing straight about me was the way i stuck my fingers straight inside of jahseh just now.

i really shouldn't have done that. i don't know what i was thinking. all i did was just make things between jah and i even more complicated just now.

but i couldn't resist. having jahseh in my lap, his ass perfecty aligned with my dick, and him willing to let me do whatever to him was a perfect storm. simply just having him in my lap was enough to turn me on this much.

even now, i lived for the way jah struggled to catch his composure after what just happened, the way his pupils were dialated, how he kept blushing every time he turned around to look at me, and how he melted into the slightest touch i gave him.

i especially loved it when he came, the way he was trembling in my lap, and how he was so frustrated because he so desperately wanted to let his noises out and moan out my name, but he couldn't, and the way he started panting and starting to catch his breath....

if he was like this now, i couldn't wait to see how he would be when i fuck him.

see, that's the problem right there. i'm not going to fuck him. i shouldn't have fingered him just now.

if i fucked him, it would just turn into me using jah for sex, and he deserved better than that. i don't need to be confusing him and leading him on into thinking i want a relationship or anything, because i can tell that his feelings for me are more than sexual, and i would be the biggest ain't shit nigga there was if i took advantage of his crush on me like that.

like i just did now...

i needed to figure out what the fuck was going on with me and my sexuality before i did anything else with jah, because now i'm more confused with myself than i've ever been before.

after about 2 hours of driving, we stopped at a rest stop in some random ass hick town in tennessee, because everybody kept complaining that they needed to piss, and everybody is too boujee to just piss in the bushes.

besides, i was hungry and i needed something from the vending machine, and i needed to wash my hands. 

i got out of the car and headed into the rest stop, stopping inside of the bathroom to wash my hands to get the smell off of me. as i did so, the door opened, and jahseh walked into the bathroom with me.

"stoke," he mumbled, i could see him getting flustered just from being in the same room as me. "you wanna uh, you wanna finish what we started?"

he was acting all bashful and shy, looking at me all innocently as if he's not literallly asking me to fuck him. this was a far cry from the loud, outspoken jahseh that everyone was so accustomed to. this side of him was so cute to me, i loved it. i wanted to fuck the shyness right out of him.

"i got off but i don't think you did..." he continued. "lets go into one of them stalls and handle that."

ugh. as much as i wanted to rearrange his guts i couldn't. i couldn't do it. he was already starting to get attached to me, which isn't even a bad thing but fuck i'm so confused.