I Still Love You

Letter 1 : Dear Brad...

Dear Brad,

I miss you. My heart has left my body when you left my life. You might not realize this, but you have my heart. It's all the trust I put in you, that you broke without thinking. I ache, I have physical pain from that hole in my chest. But through it all, I still love you.

My mind still craves to get lost in the ocean of your eyes. My fingers still miss the touch of your soft hair. My stomach misses the butterflies you brought to it. My body misses your protective bear hugs. My ears miss the music you showed me. My mouth misses the passion of your lips. My soul misses the joy you gave me. My heart misses the love you shared with it.

My everything misses your everything. There was never a moment that made this all not seem worth it. YOU are my definition of perfection. Everything you do makes me feel alive. I think of the memories of the past and I do miss them, but I don't want that back. I want something new. Time has passed, people change, why not try something new?

The problem is that people talk about you. They say "Brad will never go back to an ex-girlfriend" and "Brad has mixed emotions". But the only thing that everyone agrees on is how much you have a big heart. Everyone says they've seen you care for me like you've cared for no one before. They claim a light lit your eyes up when you looked at me, and your heart would beat so powerfully that you just couldn't help but smile.

If anyone knows the power of your emotions, it would be me. As observant as I am, I have noticed many of your special traits that make me so attached to you. Here's a list of those traits...

1. You care so much.
Your heart has room to care so deeply about people. You can care about so many people at the same time, it's crazy. You want to help others so badly you put them first, and yourself always last. You take care of your mother before anything else, and that's admirable. When someone leaves the path of your life, you may pretend it doesn't bother you but Brad, I can read in your heart the sadness. It doesn't come often because your personality is enjoyed by many. Which leads to the next point...

2. Your contagious personality.
You are so unique. No one else could start dancing in a mall and make everyone laugh. No one else can rap all of the popular rap songs like a god. No one else can pull off making a silly joke, and smiling while sticking out their tongue. No one else can brighten up anyone's day without even trying. No one else can be you.

3. Your effortless look.
You would definitely disagree with me on this one, but you look amazing. With your brown hair that flows back, so soft, and your blue eyes that are deep like the ocean. Your strong muscles that you use in hockey. Your gang chains and shirts that match your hats. Your perfect jawline that shines in the sunlight. Your tan from biking around all the time. Your contagious smile that brightens up anyone's day. You look perfect. If I've ever imagined my dream boy, you check off every box of the list. Also, you look quite a lot like Zac Efron, but according to you that's debatable.

4. Your true determination
You are a stubborn boy. Which is often to your advantage. When you find something precious, you go to all ends to ensure you won't lose it. You train your body to be strong and do good in hockey. Even with your weak wrist that often get's hurt, you will skate faster that a race car if you see a possibility to score. When we couldn't find a song I was looking for, you would search under every artist to find it.

5. Your romantic side.
You always do small gestures that mean so much. Before we started dating, you would always stand close to me to eliminate space between us. When we were siting, your feet were always near mine under the table or desk, which made my heart feel warm. You would always hold my hand when I felt unsafe. If I seemed sad or down, you would welcome me in your arms and reassure me with a big hug. I remember the day I had a big fight with my dad, and you hugged me while I cried out all my tears and told me it was gonna be okay, I'd never seen you look so sad as when my eyes filled with water.

6. Everything about you.
Even if I had the power to do so, I wouldn't change a thing about you. I like you just the way you are, and your imperfections are what make you perfect to me.

Even though you will never read these letters, here's where I pour out all my emotions and thoughts about you. I'll write again soon, I could talk about you forever and ever.

With lots of love,
Sincerely yours,
Em