My Everlasting Everst

The Last One

Dear Everest,

I know that's not your real name but I can't bring myself to write it. It reminds me of too many memories and how cowardly I'm behaving. So I'll call you Everest, it's very fitting if you think about it. You see, you are my Everest, my everlasting Everest. The mountain I start to climb but will never reach it's peak and I'm okay with that.

Instead I'll write you a letter, one heartfelt last sentiment. One I'll hide under my bed or inside the book you lent me in the fifth grade. The one I never gave back, the one you never asked about.

I'm glad you never asked about it because that was the day my journey up Everest began. The day that I'm thinking about right now. The one that insights fantasies about you and I.

Like the one where you finally notice me for more than your arch nemesis' twin sister. When you start to see me for me and not just the title I was born with.

A reality where we could walk through my front door, hand-in-hand without being bombarded with questions, angry glares and slammed doors.

One that we could be happy together in. One that we could be wrapped up in each others arms simply listening to our heartbeats synchronize.

I want to be with you, but I'm afraid of what you'll say. If you wouldn't love me the way I love you. Mostly, I'm afraid you'll love me back. That what I want you'll want it too. I know it doesn't make any sense but that's why I'm writing this letter to, hopefully, clear up all my feelings.

Even though you may not know it you made it very clear that you don't even like me. You love her I can see it in your eyes when you look at her.

Could you ever look at me like that? In this reality, no. But in mine that's the only way you look at me. Like I'm gold in a world filled with copper.

As if you could ever understand the way I feel about you. It hurts, physically to see you look at me with hatred just because I'm related to him. It's not my fault I have to share a mother with him, and just because of that I can't even tell the person I love how I feel.

Like I said before, I don't have to reach the peak. I'm fine just being able to see it.
Being able to grab it but never touching it.

But I don't want to always have these unrequited feelings towards you.
It's not okay. So, I have two choices...

Choice one: Reach
Or
Choice two: Fall

Until that day that I'm forced to choose, I'll imagine the day you start to think of me that way. The day we could be together.

Until then I'll be the sister of the enemy.

Sincerely,
Unseen