Standing Together

Chapter 56

If you don't mind a little TMI, Castiel uses the rest of the toilet paper roll that night. Being the kind, responsible housemate he is, he sets off to replace it with a new one when he's all set with his business.

He crouches down in front of the sink and opens the two little cabinet doors. He pushes things around to free a path to pull out the toilet paper, still wrapped in its plastic packaging. He takes one roll out and puts it back on the toilet paper holder. He starts to put the rest away, but he pauses before he does. He reaches in to pull out the magazine lying flat on the bottom of the cabinet.

Busty Asian Beauties

Just the name makes him nauseous. He wants to put it back, to forget he ever found it, but something inside him won't let him. He sits down on the floor, his back against the wall, and opens it up.

As the title would suggest, the magazine is full of Asian girls in very little clothing, doing poses that are probably really provocative, not that Castiel's little gay ass would understand why. That sort of makes this worse. He's never understood the appeal of girls' boobs, but obviously Dean does.

Does he like them — boobs, or even girls in general — more than he likes guys? It would make sense. They have more to look at, don't they? After all, guys don't have boobs. And clearly Dean likes looking at them, or he wouldn't have a whole magazine about them. Is this what he really likes in a partner? It would explain why he's only ever heard of Dean dating girls before he was with Castiel.

Suddenly, the bathroom door opens, and Castiel jumps slightly. He didn't even realize Dean was home yet. It's too late to hide the magazine; Dean's standing right above him. What's he supposed to do?

"Oh, sorry," Dean says. "I thought you were in bed, which would actually make a lot more sense than the bathroom floor, but — wait, what's..." Dean crouches down next to him and takes the magazine from him. "Where'd you get this?"

Castiel points to the cabinet under the sink.

"Oh." There's a moment of silence, which Dean breaks by saying, "Well, this is awkward."

After a pause, Castiel asks quietly, "Do you ever wish I was a girl?"

"What? Why would I wish you were a girl?" Dean asks, and he's looking at him like he has three heads, which just makes Castiel feel more awkward.

"Well, I was just thinking, like, the magazine with all the girls..."

Dean scoffs. "Really? Your first thought when you saw this was 'does he wish I was like that?' Like it never occurred to you that I obsess over Sherlock and Marvel like they're my religion — but like a religion I'm lowkey embarrassed to follow so I don't talk about it 24/7? And that they're both entirely male-centric? If anything, your problem should have been that you thought I was checking out these girls instead of you."

"Well, yeah, that also crossed my mind," Castiel says sheepishly.

"Come with me, okay?" Dean says. He takes Castiel's hand and leads him to their bedroom, sitting down on the edge of the bed with him. "I'm going to be real with you, mostly just because I can't really lie because you've already found the magazine and wouldn't believe anything but the truth anyway," Dean says. "Yes, I think these chicks are hot. That's why I had it. I was single, horny, and bisexual, and I refuse to apologize for the three defining features of my young adult life."

Castiel can't help but smile slightly at that. That doesn't really come as a surprise to him.

"But I haven't even looked at this since we got together," Dean tells him. "I thought I threw these all out. I don't want to look at porn stars anymore because none of them turn me on the way you can. So no, Cas, I don't wish you were a girl. I don't want you to change at all. And now that I'm done monologuing, I'm going to go throw the magazine in the trash — or, better yet, let's take it outside and light it on fire!"

Castiel stares at him. "That's not at all how I thought you were going to end that verbal essay."

"No, it's way better, right?" Dean says with a grin. "So, wanna go burn some porn with me?"

Castiel can't help but laugh at how weird that sounds. "You know what? Yes I would."

"Awesome. Let's go!"

They head outside with the magazine, a lighter, and a bucket to put it in. Thankfully, no one's waiting for them out there, or this would have been really awkward. Everyone's basically steered clear of the house after someone messed with the impala, and Castiel can only imagine how Dean scared them away when he saw that.

"Ready?" Dean says with a grin.

He holds the magazine up and clicks the lighter on, first try. He holds the flame under the magazine, but nothing happens.

"Okay, plan b," Dean says. "What if we covered it in the margarine fake-butter stuff? That's flammable. Hopefully it'll burn it."

"Wait, margarine's flammable?" Castiel says in surprise. "I didn't know that. Wait, how do you know that?"

"Logic?"

Castiel just raises an eyebrow and waits for the real answer.

"I put it on the hot stove once when I was making mac n cheese because I wanted to warm it up and get it to start melting as I dumped the noodles into the colander thingy and it caught on fire."

Castiel bursts out laughing. "That's literally the stupidest thing I've ever heard."

"That's why I don't claim to be a smart person," Dean replies. "Now come on. Let's go cover some porn in margarine!"

~~

"3! 2! 1! Let's go, bitch!" Dean puts the lighter up against the magazine again, and sure enough, it starts to burn.

Dean seems more than proud of himself for this, and he beams at the fire as it slowly crawls up the magazine, almost reaching his hand. Dean quickly drops it in the plastic bucket, and after about a minute, the fire consumes the rest of the magazine and the margarine.

"There," Dean says with a satisfied smile. "Bet you didn't expect to end your day like that."

"No, I can't say I expected to end my Thanksgiving by watching my fiancé burn his old porn magazine in margarine," Castiel says.

"It was pretty cool, though," Dean says. "You have to admit it."

Castiel chuckles. "Yeah, it was kind of cool."