In love with a roof Thatcher

Chapter 8

It is finally the summer holidays and it has been 19 days since the party. And since the kiss. Me and Joe have been texting everyday although we have not yet met up again.

Summer is my favourite time of the year, its hot, sunny and there is no school for 2 months. Since the party, Manisha has been seeing Connor and luckily they did use protection at the party when they got it on. Jess asked Kian out after I fell asleep at Connor's party. Apparently it was really cute, Jess got down on one knee and 'proposed' to Kian. I wish I was there, and I think Joe does too.

I text Joe.

10:13am to 'Joe<3'

Hey, how are you this fine day;)? xx

It is almost as if he is waiting for me to text because he replies seconds later.

10:13am from 'Joe<3'

Hi girl, I'm fine thank you. How are u?xx

He always calls me girl and it makes me wonder, does he call everyone else that? Has he forgotten my name already? Maybe I'm just 'one of his girls'?

I still get butterflies just texting Joe but what if he doesn't like me back? I want to meet him again, see him in person, hear his voice, see his beautiful lips and look into his gorgeous eyes.

I sit on my bed every morning for about an hour just texting Joe, imagining his voice speaking the messages.

10:15am to 'Joe<3'

I am fine and dandy thanks ;) Now that we are off school, do you want to maybe meet up at one point...? xx

Straight after I send the message I regret it. What if he says no? It Will be awkward to talk to him. What if he only thinks We're friends? I start to breath shallow, quick breaths as all the questions rush through my mind. Why did i send the message? What if I ruin our chances forever? I close my eyes and try and remember what I've been told before for when I feel like I'm going to have an attack. Deep breaths. In.......and out.......in........and out. It's not helping. I can't take the deep breaths I lay down and shout. "MUM!!!" I don't know what to do. I lock my phone and lay on my bed, my breaths getting quicker.

My mum rushes up the stairs and I hear my phone vibrate.

"ELLA?!" my mum starts crying. I only started getting big anxiety and panic attacks when my dad passed away. "take deep breaths" she holds my hand "deep breaths with me okay honey? In...and out" I start to calm down. It was only a short panic. Why did I ever send the text? I feel so stupid.