Say Something (giving up on you)

Chapter 2

Graces POV

I can't sleep anymore, it's pointless. Why even bother? I was tired of seeing his face, everywhere I turned there was a memory, it hurt. it hurt to remember, it hurt to think of him. it hurt to be alive.

I felt like I was drowning, sinking farther and farther down and the more I swam the farther away the surface became. Yet my life was like a desert, vast and unescapable. what was worse? drowning or drying from thirst?

Finn said I was depressed, and I disagreed. I wasn't depressed. I just hated myself and I wanted to escape my misery. I wanted to escape him. but still I told Finn I was going to be okay, even though it was a lie, it seemed like it made him feel better. He was my best friend and I hated to see him suffer because of me.

But the truth is, I'm not going to be okay. how could anything ever be okay again? one day my life was perfect and the next I'm numb. unable to feel, unable to breath.

"Grace come on." I look up and I'm sitting next to Finn parked in his usual space. How did we get here so fast? I didn't want to get out of the car...

"Come on grace, you can't hide forever." as much as I hated it I knew he was right. I had been hiding in my bedroom for two weeks. if I skipped anymore classes I'd be dropped from the courses.

I open the car door; although this place was so familiar it seemed foreign to me because I hadn't been here in so long. I hated it. I hated the people, the professors, I hated him. No I didn't, as much as he put me through I couldn't ever hate him. he was one of the few actually genuine people I'd met in my life and I was grateful for the time i got to call him mine. But I was scared for my life today.

I was scared to see him. he was probably happy, not even phased by what happened to me, what happened to us. he probably has pushed it back in his memory and moved on, but I never can.

"Grace it will be okay." Finn wrapped an arm around me and pulled me in for a hug. he always knew how I was feeling and I didn't know where I would be without him.

"I know..." no It won't be okay. how can you ever be so naive to Believe that Finn. It'll never be okay; I'll never be okay. I wasn't okay before or during jack and I sure as hell won't be now.

"I'm glad." he half smiled and we continued down the hall. and there he was, smiling and laughing with Marcus, Alfie, Zoe, and... Naomi? Why was she with them? and that's when I saw it his hand squeezing her hip. this wasn't happening. i stopped in my tracks.

"Shit." Finn said noticing what id seen, I couldn't breathe. everything was closing in around me. I was dizzy. I felt like I was going to pass out, or puke. or both. I felt my stomach churning and I sprinted towards the garbage near the water fountain and spilled into it. When I looked up Zoe Alfie and Marcus were walking quickly to where I sat on the ground with Finn towering over me.

"Grace!"

"You alright!"

The heard surrounded me and i stood up. brushing myself off.

"Yeah, just nauseous." I smiled balancing myself on Finn, I still was nauseous, and the last thing I wanted to do was pass out and cause even more a scene.

"Hunny, you're crying..." Zoe frowned, standing on her tip toes and wiping the tears away. I hadn't even realized until now.

"God, I'm going to kill that little fucker, what did he do to you now..." Marcus rolled his eyes looking back at jack who still had his arm around Naomi. I momentarily made eye contact with him and then Looked quickly away, feeling the hole in my heart tearing just a little more.

"Nothing Marky. nothing." he just folded his arms and gave jack a dirty look.

"I'm gonna go to class." I let go of finn and began walking to english. I couldnt take being around them. even though they were my friends they were jack's too and I didn't want to ruin anything.

"You sure?" Alfie said catching up with me. "Maybe you should get back to your flat and rest.."

"I'm sure alfie, leave me alone." I began walking faster.

I was drowning again. except this time faster. I wasn't even trying to re surface. I was free falling down to my own self destruction.

Or maybe I wasn't drowning at all. maybe I was wrong, you can't drown the already dead.